


Find Another Broken Heart

by Half



Series: Divorce AU [1]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Divorce AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-11-12 11:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 21,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11161269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Half/pseuds/Half
Summary: Years after being driven apart, Waverly and Nicole reunite in the aftermath of a stressful situation. But their rekindled connection might spell doom for both them and everyone they love most.





	1. we're on the road to ruin

**Author's Note:**

> Evil Plot Cohort: TheGaySmurf

Nicole Haught had had worse dates.

She just hadn’t had _many_ worse dates.

As she poked at her salad with her fork, the chatter of the woman across from her barely breaking through her attention span, she mentally recited the list of groceries she had to pick up on her way home.

Bread. Milk. Cereal (Frosted Flakes or Captain Crunch). Strawberries. Mac and Cheese. Peanut Butter. Pancake Mix…

“Earth to Nicole Haught.”

Nicole looked up and gave what she hoped was a believable smile. “Sorry?”

“Am I boring you?” the brunette asked.

“N-No. I just. I was distracted by something. My apologies. What were you saying?”

“No apologies necessary.” She winked at her, and Nicole felt her skin prickle uncomfortably. “I was asking what you do on the weekends.”

“Well, honestly, I usually just do work around the house. Get chores done.” Nicole shrugged and took a sip of her water. “My son spends weekends at my ex’s place, so I like to take the opportunity to get everything together while he’s not around.”

Her date’s smile flickered. “You have a son?”

“Mhm.”

“How old?”

“Turned seven a few weeks ago.” Nicole hesitated, suspicious about the glint in her date’s eyes. “Is that a problem?”

“No, of course not,” she laughed, no humor in the sound. “So, uhm, what kind of ex? Like ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend…”

“Ex-wife.”

“Oh.”

Nicole raised an eyebrow. “You don’t sound very enthused about that.”

“Well, it’s just… you’re, what, twenty-four?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Alright, and you already have an ex-wife and a seven-year-old.”

“I’m not sure I see where you’re going with this.”

The woman shrugged. “All I’m trying to figure out is how someone who seems as responsible as you ended up married so young.”

On the table, Nicole’s hand tightened into a fist. “We’ve known each other since I was ten and she was nine,” she said softly. “High school sweethearts. Got married _way_ too young.” She took another sip of her drink. “We were teenagers, and we were stupid. What else do you want me to say?”

She snorted. “How did you end up with a brat to go along with the first mistake?”

 _“Excuse me?”_ Nicole slammed her glass down on the table. “You don’t get to talk about my son that way.”

“C’mon, Nicole, you can’t tell me that you’re enthusiastic about raising a kid by yourself just because you married some prick who left you. We all make mistakes. It’s alright to admit to them.”

Nicole stood up from the table, tossing a small amount of cash down for her half of the bill. “If that’s the way you’re going to behave regarding my family? I’m _glad_ that I found this date to be mind-numbingly boring.”

She turned on her heel and stormed out of the café, rage boiling in her head.

She tried not to think about why she so badly wanted to turn back around and defend her ex-wife to her date.

 

+++++

 

When she picked up her son that night, he was hanging out in a bar.

“Excuse me, young man,” Nicole said, leaning against the counter and squinting at the little boy. “I’m not sure you’re legally old enough to be serving drinks. Can I see some I.D.?”

Phoenix Earp-Haught giggled. “I don’t have an I.D.”

_“What?”_

He ducked down a bit, hiding his grin behind the counter. “And if I did, I wouldn’t give it to you!”

“Yeah! That’s right! Stick it to the man, buddy!” Wynonna Earp walked behind her nephew, ruffling his dark brown hair. “You don’t need to abide by the rules of no lawman.”

“Thanks, Wyn. It’s hard enough to get him to listen, you know.”

Wynonna snorted. “I thought he was a perfect angel?”

“He is. For about eight hours every day while he’s asleep.”

“So he takes after both of his parents very well, then? Good to note.” Wynonna leaned against the counter. “Hey, Nix, can you go get your bag from Gus’s office?”

“Okay, Aunt ‘Nonna!”

As the boy ran off, Wynonna shook her head. “One of these days he’ll get my name right.”

“Eh. ‘Wynonna’ is an overrated name anyway.”

“Your son’s middle name is _Wilhelm_.”

Nicole held up a hand. “Okay. Hold on. Waverly wanted a ‘W’ name. I joking suggested ‘Wilhelm’. She got really excited about it and demanded it. How was I supposed to say no?”

“Pretty sure you should’ve learned to say ‘no’ to my sister a long time ago,” Wynonna muttered. She reached out and patted Nicole on the shoulder. “Hey. How was the date?”

“Absolutely terrible.”

Wynonna patted her shoulder again. “It’s nice to see that your game is just as bad as ever.”

Nicole rolled her eyes. “Thanks a bunch.”

“No problem!”

“I’m ready, Mommy!” Phoenix made his way out from behind the counter, his Scooby-Doo backpack dragging behind him.

Nicole crouched down in front of him. “Hey. C’mon. You know better than that.”

Phoenix grinned at her, then put his bag onto his shoulders. “ _Now_ I’m ready, Mommy.”

Nicole tapped him on the nose, mirroring his grin. “Good. Ready to go?”

“Mhm. Up, first?”

“Demanding.” Nicole picked her son up, resting him on the counter.

He reached back and fist-bumped Wynonna. “Bye, Aunt ‘Nonna.”

“Bye, kiddo. I’ll see you next weekend, alright?”

“Yay!” Phoenix tried to jump down off of the counter, and Nicole caught him quickly.

“You’re gonna give me a heart attack, kid.”

“I _know_ what I’m _doing_ , Mom.”

Nicole chuckled and ran her hand through his hair, spiking it. “Uh huh. Somehow I’m not sure I fully believe that.”

He pouted at her, and Nicole was pretty sure he’d been taking persuasion lessons from his other mother. “Can we get ice cream on the way home? _Pleassseeee?_ ”

Nicole sighed and led him towards the door. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

“It’s part of my charm.”

“… What?”

She heard Wynonna laughing behind the bar, and Nicole sighed again, rolling her eyes. “Phoenix, let me explain something very important to you.”

“Yes, Mommy?”

“The ‘Earp’ half of your family is absolute trouble.”

“What about you?”

“I’m perfectly innocent.” Wynonna’s laughter got louder, and Nicole pushed Phoenix faster towards the door. “ _No matter what certain others might say_ , I am completely innocent of all nonsense.”

“That’s not what Aunt ‘Nonna says.”

Nicole picked her son up, swinging him over top of a fire hydrant to make him giggle. “Your Aunt Wynonna needs to learn how to stop telling you stories.”

“Are you gonna be at the park with me tomorrow?”

“No, buddy. Your mama is picking you up from school and taking you.”

“Oh. Okay! Mama’s gonna see how good I am on the jungle gym?”

“Absolutely. Just try to behave, alright?”

He snickered in a way that Nicole knew was a bad sign. “Alright.”

 

+++++

 

Nicole had just finished putting away piles of toys and vacuuming the living room when her cell phone lit up with an incoming call.

From Waverly Earp.

“Hey,” she answered. “How’s-”

_“Phoenix fell!”_

Nicole felt her blood chill. “What?”

_“I-I don’t know, I… I don’t know what happened, I turned around for less than a minute and he was yelling to get my attention and when I turned back around he was hanging upside down from the monkey bars and before I could get to him to get him down he fell and I think he broke his arm and I don’t know what to do I’m taking him to the hospital but he’s crying and God, Nicole, I can’t believe I-”_

“Waverly, Waverly!” Nicole cut her off, her heart thudding in her chest. “It’s going to be okay. Which hospital?”

_“P-Purgatory General.”_

“I’ll be there in five minutes. I’ll meet you there. Okay? It’s going to be okay.”

_“… Okay.”_

Her blood still pounding in her head, Nicole hurried out of the house, trying to keep herself from showing the fear she wouldn’t let out on the phone.

 

+++++

 

She found Waverly in a waiting room, pacing in front of Gus McCready, who had raised both Waverly and Wynonna.

“How is he?” Nicole asked.

“He’s getting his arm put in a cast,” Waverly sniffed. “Broke it in two places. God, I’m so _stupid_. I should’ve known better. He’s just as much trouble as we both are. I shouldn’t have expected anything else.”

“C’mon, Wave, he’s just a kid. Kids do dumb things.”

“I know that, which is why I should’ve been watching him.”

“Hey… Sit down.” Nicole led Waverly over to a chair and sat down next to her. “You’ve gotta stop feeling like every misstep you make as a parent is a complete and utter failure.”

“If I do that now, I don’t know what I’ll become again. You know how hard I’ve been trying.”

“I do.” Nicole instinctively pulled Waverly into a hug, stroking the back of her hair. “Which is why I also know that you don’t need to beat yourself up over this.”

“How are you so calm?” Waverly asked, her voice quivering.

“Oh, trust me, I’m a goddamn _mess_ on the inside,” Nicole laughed. “I just am trying to keep it together, because I know you’re upset.”

“Thank you,” Waverly whispered.

Nicole held her a bit tighter. “Never a problem.”

Across the waiting room from them, Gus watched. And saw.

And she rolled her eyes and sighed.


	2. she doesn't look me in the eyes anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I inadvertently put Nicole's age as 27 in the previous chapter; she's actually 28.

**NINE YEARS AGO**

 

Waverly paced around prom, pulling irritably at her dress to make it lie differently. Champ Hardy, who was supposed to be there escorting Steph Jones, had been hitting on her for twenty minutes now, and she was about five more minutes away from punching him square in the mouth.

She was miserable.

All because her stupid girlfriend had done a prank in her senior year that got her banned from her prom, and by extension Waverly’s prom as well.

_“Waves, c’mon, I had the master password to all the computers. How could I resist.”_

_“You’re lucky you weren’t expelled, jackass.”_

_“That’s rich, since you hacked the password for me.”_

Waverly smiled into her water glass as she remembered the offended look on Nicole’s face when her father grounded her, as if it were somehow a surprise that she’d get in trouble for a suspension from school.

Nicole Haught, noble and brave and smart and good, had simply never met a challenge she didn’t want to try her hand at.

As Champ tried to walk towards her again, Waverly rolled her eyes, but Chrissy Nedley stepped in his way and smiled down at Waverly before he could speak.

“Hey,” she said. “Let’s go outside for a bit. Get some air away from these losers.”

“Please,” Waverly breathed, standing up and following her friend.

“Are you having a good time?” Chrissy asked. “I know you’re bummed out about Nicole.”

“I’m trying to have fun with you guys, but I just… I didn’t think I’d want her here this badly, y’know?”

“Yeah. Pete almost asked you to dance, but he figured you’d think he was hitting on you, since Champ won’t leave you alone.”

Waverly laughed softly. “Yeah, well, that’s Champ. I could make out with Nic right in front of him and he’d still assume that it was for his benefit.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“Mmmmmhm.”

Chrissy stopped at the edge of the outside patio. “I think I’ll wait here. You should keep going, though.”

“What?”

Her friend had the edges of a smirk on her lips. “Go to the gazebo, Waverly Earp.”

Waverly stared at her for a long moment before hurrying down the small path.

Hidden behind some trees sat an old gazebo, tucked away in such a fashion that it was unlikely that most of the students inside the building knew it was there.

Inside the gazebo stood Nicole Haught, leaning against the railing, a suit perfectly tailored to her form and her vest and tie matching the light blue of Waverly’s dress exactly.

“How?” Waverly asked in a whisper. “I-I thought… I thought you had exams…”

“I lied,” Nicole said, a slow smile forming on her face. “I only said that so, in conjunction with me being _banned_ from this event, you’d have no idea I was showing up.”

Waverly approached her hesitantly, skimming her fingers down Nicole’s tie. “How did you get in?”

“It’s prom, not Fort Knox. It wasn’t exactly hard.”

“Nicole Haught, if you weren’t so dedicated to being a cop, we could be the world’s best supervillains.”

“Mhm. Explain to me why I keep getting caught doing stupid shit, then.”

Waverly tightened her grip on Nicole’s tie. “It’s that good officer’s honor code. You physically can’t allow yourself to get away with it.” She tugged Nicole forward into a scorching kiss, but, to her surprise, Nicole set her hands on her hips and gently pushed her away.

“Excuse me. Could I have this dance, Ms. Earp?”

With a quick laugh, Waverly nodded. “You may, Ms. Haught.”

Nicole put a hand on Waverly’s waist and linked their fingers together with the other, then slowly led Waverly around the gazebo to the dull beat from the song playing inside the building.

“I wanted to give you this,” Nicole murmured. “I know you’re having a good time with your friends. Or, at least, I hope you are. But I love you, Waverly Earp, and I wanted to give you your dance.”

Waverly leaned forward as Nicole spun her, pressing a kiss to Nicole’s mouth. “I love you, too. Even if you’re an asshole who gets in trouble.”

“Never anything illegal.”

“No, but I’d hate to see the nonsense a kid raised by you would get into.”

Nicole stopped their turns, a glint in her eyes that Waverly couldn’t read. “Would you like to be the one who finds out?”

“What?”

Nicole took a small step back, her hand in her pocket. “I asked if you wanted to be the girl who raises a kid with me.”

“Well. Yeah, but why-”

Waverly’s words caught in her throat as Nicole knelt down on one knee, producing a small box from her pocket.

“I didn’t only come here for the dance,” she admitted, her voice quiet. “I came here for this, too.” She opened the box, revealing a ring that had to have taken months of overtime to pay for. “Marry me, Waverly Earp.”

“Oh, god, Nicole.” Waverly started to cry, her head nodding rapidly. “Christ. Yes.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, you jackass, I’ll marry you.”

Grinning, Nicole stood again and slipped the ring onto Waverly’s hand. Waverly pulled her into another desperate kiss, but Nicole pulled away again.

“No. You should finish your night with your friends, baby.” Nicole winked, her knuckles brushing Waverly’s cheek. “We have the rest of the night, and the rest of our lives, for each other.”

With a strained laugh, Waverly kissed her again. “You damn well better make it an improvement over my eighteenth birthday.”

“Okay. Neither of us knew what we were doing. That’s not fair.”

Waverly laughed again, hugging her. “I love you, Nicole Haught.”

“I love you too, Waverly Earp.”

Waverly kissed her a final time before starting back up towards the party.

“Forever,” she whispered.

 

+++++

 

**NINE YEARS AGO**

 

“Waverly Earp, you are _not_ skipping graduation!”

Waverly set her jaw and crossed her arms, giving Gus what she hoped was an appropriately hardened glare. “Yes. I am.”

“Child. Be reasonable,” Gus begged, exasperation heavy in her tone. “This is an important day in a person’s life, and you should be there.”

“Getting married is _infinitely_ more important to me than some stupid valedictorian speech.” Waverly twisted the ring around on her finger. “The courthouse is only open so long today. It’s not my fault that they made the graduation ceremony earlier this year.”

“You can go to court tomorrow,” Gus snapped, blocking her from walking out of her room. “Why does it have to be _today_?”

_“Because.”_ Waverly planted her hands on her hips, stubbornness lighting in her eyes. “We couldn’t do it _before_ because neither of us wanted to do it while I was still in high school. And I can’t do it _tomorrow_ because Nic starts her job with campus police. And I _will not wait longer than that!_ ”

“Honey. Please. There isn’t a _rush_ to do this.”

Waverly swallowed slowly. “Why can’t you just be happy for me, Gus?”

Gus’s expression softened, and she reached out, brushing her thumb against Waverly’s cheek. “Oh, kid. Please don’t misunderstand. I love Nicole. I really do. But you’re both far too young for what you’re about to do.”

“I’m not too young to know I’m in love,” Waverly replied. “I want to marry the love of my life. I’m _going_ to. And there’s nothing you can do to stop it.” She shoved past Gus and headed for the door, leaving her aunt standing alone in the doorway.

 

+++++

 

**NINE YEARS AGO**

 

“I’m sorry we couldn’t have the honeymoon right after the wedding,” Nicole said as she pulled Waverly into her lap.

“You and your stupid work,” Waverly teased. She kissed Nicole, long and slow, as they listened to the water gently lap at the sand outside of the lake house. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself when we’re at different schools.”

“You can do whatever you want with yourself, as long as you’re thinking of me when you do it.”

Waverly shoved Nicole’s head to the side. “Christ. You’re trouble.”

“Yeah, so?” Nicole asked, grinning.

“So I’m _really_ upset that I won’t get to see you.” She walked her fingers up Nicole’s sternum with every word as she added, “Every. Single. Night.”

Nicole swallowed. “How many days are we apart?”

“Somewhere around ninety.”

Nicole flipped Waverly onto her back and started pulling off her t-shirt. “I can make those up to you in advance.”

 

+++++

 

**EIGHT YEARS AGO**

 

“Nicole. Nicole!”

“What?” Nicole rasped, opening her eyes and squinting up at the person disturbing her sleep.

Waverly grinned down at her.

“Oh. Hey. Welcome home,” Nicole mumbled before rolling over to fall back asleep.

Waverly grabbed her shoulder and turned her again. “Seriously? I’ve been gone for a full semester and _that’s_ all you’re gonna say?”

“I love you?”

Her wife continued to frown.

Nicole groaned and rubbed at her eyes. “Wave, I don’t know what you want from me. I’ve been working nine-hour shifts all week on top of a full load of coursework and some early studying for my exams. This is my first chance to sleep in two days.”

“Can I get you something? Some soothing tea, or another blanket, or-”

“No, Waverly, Jesus! I just want _sleep_!” Nicole rolled back over and ran her hand over her face. “It’s not my fault that you stayed the extra week at school for your sorority.”

“It’s a fraternity, actually.”

_“Whatever!”_

Waverly frowned, rubbing Nicole’s back gently. “You’re awfully grumpy tonight.”

Nicole took in a long, slow breath and sighed. “I’m sorry. But I’m exhausted. So please. _Please_. Please let me sleep.”

“Can I at least join you?”

Nicole let out another soft sigh. “Whatever you want, Waverly.”

Waverly slid into bed, wrapping her arms around Nicole tightly and pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. “I love you,” she whispered.

Her wife was already out cold.

 

+++++

 

**SEVEN YEARS AGO**

 

“We never see each other anymore,” Nicole said, her voice a soft murmur across the dinner table.

“I know,” Waverly replied, staring at her phone. “I’m _so close_ to getting a permanent job lined up out of this internship, though, baby. If you’re in the top five of their program, you get an automatic offer for after you graduate.”

“That’s great,” Nicole said carefully, poking at her food with her fork, “but won’t that just make our problem worse?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll practically build my own schedule.”

“You’re awfully confident.”

Waverly looked up and beamed at her. “Of course I am. I know exactly what I’m doing.”

“I hope so.” Nicole leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “You know that… thing we’ve been discussing?”

“Hm? What thing?”

“The kid thing.”

“Oh. Right. What about it?”

Nicole drummed her fingers on the table. “My parents called. They know someone who is pregnant and doesn’t want the baby.” After a pause in which Waverly said nothing, Nicole continued, “My parents convinced her that we’re both responsible and trustworthy people. We can adopt directly from her. If you’re still interested.”

“Oh, well, I-I…”

“I’m only bringing it up because your internship is almost over,” Nicole said. “And I know I’m starting the academy soon. But I figured that with a little bit of help, from Wynonna maybe? We could… I mean… only if you want to. There’s no pressure to.”

“No, I want to,” Waverly said quickly. “God, Nicole, I want to.”

“… Really?”

“Yes.” Waverly walked around the table and sat in Nicole’s lap, pressing a kiss to her lips. “I would _love_ to raise a child with you, Nicole Haught. Tell them we say yes.”

 

+++++

 

**SIX YEARS AGO**

 

When Nicole knocked on Wynonna’s front door, she was yanked into the apartment by her shirt collar.

“Sit,” Wynonna said, pointing at the couch.

“Wh-”

_“Sit.”_

Nicole was too tired to argue, falling onto the cushion with a thud. Wynonna walked into the kitchen and returned carrying Phoenix, depositing him directly in Nicole’s lap.

“Hold your son, Haught.”

The little boy giggled happily as he chewed on a toy train.

“Buddy, don’t do that,” Nicole said softly, lowering the toy from his mouth. She kissed the back of his head and paused, her eyes closed.

“You need to slow down more often, Nic.” Wynonna sat across from her, a surprisingly gentle look on her face. “You’re wearing yourself to a breaking point.”

“I don’t have a choice,” Nicole murmured. “Phoenix needs somebody.”

“Yeah, and what about my damn sister?”

“Language,” Nicole muttered, though it sounded more instinctive than anything serious.

“Okay, okay. Hey, Phoenix, wanna nap for a bit?” Wynonna picked up her nephew and carried him out of the room. When she returned, she shoved Nicole onto her back on the couch before going back to her own chair. “You should nap, too.”

“M’alright.”

“No, you aren’t, and you aren’t driving my favorite nephew anywhere when you look like you’re going to pass out.”

“He’s your _only_ nephew,” Nicole muttered rebelliously.

“Shut up.” Wynonna clasped her hands in front of her, concern furrowing her brow. “Nicole… Seriously. Where is Waverly?”

“Working. Always working.” Nicole rubbed at her eyes and her voice cracked as she said, “I don’t know how much more I can take, Wynonna. I’m trying so damn hard. For my son. But she’s never home, I’m doing this all by myself, and I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Wynonna took in a slow breath. “Nicole. You know I love you. And I love Waverly. And I will always support you both.”

“… Okay.”

“But you need to do what is best for _you_ and what is best for _Phoenix_. If Waverly can’t get her act together…”

Nicole shoved her trembling hands out of sight. “What are you saying?”

Wynonna gave her a grim smile, stood, and kissed her softly on the temple. “You know what I’m saying, kid. Now get some sleep.”

She went off to entertain the little boy, while his mother fell asleep on the living room couch.

 

+++++

 

**FIVE YEARS AGO**

 

When Waverly walked into the house, Nicole was sitting a chair in the living room, drinking a glass of scotch.

“Hey, I got your message. Sorry I-”

“Phoenix is at your sister’s.”

“I… okay. Why is he there?”

Her wife stared at her. “Because I didn’t want his sleep disrupted by the excuses you were going to make.”

“Look, I know-”

“The excuses you’re going to make about why you didn’t go with us on vacation.”

“Stop interrupting me,” Waverly snapped.

Nicole raised a hand, half dismissive, half accepting.

“I told you before. I had to work.”

“Yeah. You _always_ have to work, Waverly.”

“And?”

The question earned a laugh. “And at a certain point, you should try raising your son.”

“Really, Nicole? You act as if I’m never home.”

“Because you _aren’t_. You’re always at _work_.”

“It was just one trip. It’s not that big of a deal!”

“Yes, it was!” Nicole snarled, surging to her feet so fast that she almost knocked over the bottle of scotch on the table next to her. “Our son had never met his grandparents before! This was the first time my family was getting to see him since the day we picked him up, and I had to show up there trying to act like nothing was wrong while _he_ asked constantly where _you_ were!”

Waverly frowned. “You didn’t tell him?”

“Of course I did. Try convincing a two-year-old that his mama isn’t showing up even if he asks politely.”

“If you put a little effort into it-”

“I am not a saleswoman, Waverly,” Nicole interrupted coldly. “I’m a cop. Just straight facts. I’m not manipulating our child just to make you feel better.”

_“Manipulating?”_ Waverly took several steps towards her wife, fury in her eyes. “Is that really what you think my job entails?”

“I don’t know, because you’re never around to tell me a single goddamn thing about it.”

“You had no complaints about my job when I bought that car sitting in the driveway.”

They just stared at each other in a tense silence, Nicole close to snapping with rage. Finally, she growled, “That is not a fair statement, and you damn well know it.” She stuck her finger in Waverly’s face. “You are so sure that you always do the right thing, but why is it that you _job_ is _always_ the thing that comes first? Before _everything_?” Nicole stepped back, anxiously spinning the ring on her right hand with their son’s birthstone embedded in it.

Waverly noticed immediately, and realization flickered into her eyes like a flame. She gave a humorless smirk and said, “Why don’t you just admit what you’re actually mad about, Nicole?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you do.”

There was a lengthy pause where Nicole just stood there, jaw set. Then she whispered, “If you didn’t want to have a child, you should’ve just said so.”

“Fuck you, Nicole.”

Nicole snorted. “That would be a first in about three months.”

Waverly stared at her, then turned on her heel and headed towards the bedroom. “I’m not having this conversation with you right now.”

“You mean the conversation where I’m done with this?”

Waverly hesitated at the front of the hallway, glancing back at her. “Yeah, Nicole. Yeah. I think I’m done too.”

“Glad we finally agree on something.”

With a scoff, Waverly said, “Yeah. It’s about time.” She headed off, calling behind her, “You can sleep on the goddamn couch!”

“I’d prefer it!” Nicole yelled in response. She slammed her glass of scotch down on the table hard enough that she had to make sure it hadn’t broken. Then she sat down on the couch and put her head in her hands.


	3. everything is never as it seems

When Phoenix came out of the back room, a bright blue cast on his arm, he sprinted over to Nicole with a grin on his face.

“Mommy, look! It’s blue! Like your cop shirt!”

“I see that, buddy,” Nicole laughed. She crouched down in front of him and ruffled his hair. “Does it hurt?”

“… A little.” He shrugged and looked at Waverly. “I was tryin’ to show you what I can do, Mama, but I slipped. It works most times. I’ll show you again!”

“Er. How about you show your mama something else next time, huh, pal?” Nicole replied quickly, seeing the blank fear on Waverly’s face.

“Okay! I’ll show her my basketball throws!” He went over to Waverly and tugged at the bottom of her shirt, still beaming. “I can’t make it to the net but I’m close. Mommy said I can play when I’m big enough. Can I, Mama? If I show you?”

Waverly knelt down and pulled him into a tight hug. “Of course you can,” she murmured.

Nicole watched them for a long moment, a small smile on her lips, until Gus loudly cleared her throat.

“Oh, uhm, thank you. For coming here. Gus,” Nicole said awkwardly.

“Any time. You know I’d do anything for my favorite grandson.” Gus gave Phoenix a crooked smile, and he hurried over to give her a hug.

“Why does everybody keep calling him their favorite of things they only have one of?” Nicole muttered. She thought it was soft enough, but Waverly apparently heard it, letting out a quick, quiet laugh.

Gus kissed Phoenix on the head, then stood up. “I’m going to head out.” She paused, looking between Waverly and Nicole. “Are you two going to be okay?”

“Of course,” Waverly said with a frown. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

Her aunt snorted. “Just making sure.”

When she was gone, Phoenix leaned against Nicole’s knees and stared up at her, his hazel eyes wide. “Mom, can we go to breakfast?”

Nicole glanced at her watch. “It’s three o’clock in the afternoon, Phoenix.”

“… Can we go somewhere I can get pancakes for dinner?”

“Sure.”

“Can Mama come, too?”

Nicole looked at Waverly and saw the hesitation on her face. Normally, they would’ve done everything within their power to avoid something like this. But Nicole decided to give their son a break for the day.

“That’s up to her,” she said softly, meeting Waverly’s gaze evenly.

Waverly visibly swallowed before nodding. “Sure,” she said. “Let’s go.”

 

+++++

 

“I want more pancakes than this,” Phoenix whined, squinting at a stack about the size of his head.

“If you eat the pancakes you _have_ you’ll be sick for a week,” Nicole replied.

“So?”

Nicole reached her fork over and stole one of the pancakes off the stack. “ _So_ , I’m not dealing with that on top of the broken arm, buddy.”

He pouted at her. “No fun.”

“Mhm.”

“Mama, what’s wrong?”

Nicole looked up at Waverly, who was staring blankly at her son. She blinked rapidly and gave a weak smile. “Nothing, buddy. Everything’s fine.”

They ate as Phoenix chattered about getting his cast on and how many signatures and drawings he was going to have on it by the end of the week. When he finished his pancakes, Nicole brushed his hair to the side and said, “Hey, Phoenix, do you want to go into the play area for a bit? I need to talk to your mama.”

“Okay!”

He scampered off, leaving Waverly and Nicole alone.

“I don’t know what happened, Nicole,” Waverly blurted out. “I know I should’ve been watching him better. I swear. I’m sorry. I should’ve done better. I-”

“Waverly,” Nicole interrupted patiently. “I promise that everything is okay.”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re doing fine, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Waverly sighed heavily, briefly resting her head in her hands. “I-I just get so nervous,” she admitted softly. “I’m trying, Nicole. I’m trying to do better for him. But I don’t know what to do all the time, and I panic when anything goes wrong.”

Nicole instinctively reached out, resting her hand on top of Waverly’s and brushing her thumb against the back of Waverly’s palm. “It’ll get easier. I promise. And you have more free time because of that new job, right?”

“Yeah. Sales team manager. I’m doing office work now, so I’m not traveling all the time. I-I’m actually… I’m home. More. Now.”

Nicole leaned back in her seat, pulling away her hand awkwardly. “Well. Y’know. If you’re getting home at a more normal time now, I think I know how you can fix that discomfort you have.”

“Oh?”

“A coworker of mine, his wife just had a baby. He’s going to be taking a while off for paternity leave. I’m supposed to be covering some of his shifts, which means I’ll be working doubles sometimes.” Nicole shrugged. “D-Do you… I didn’t know if maybe… you wanted to start keeping Phoenix more often?”

Waverly’s eyes lit up. “I’d love to.”

“Yeah?”

Her voice soft and nervous, Waverly said, “He’s my son, too, Nicole. I-I’d like that. A lot.”

Nicole grinned. “Well. Good, then.”

“When’s the first time you’d need me to have him?”

“Next Thursday into Friday? So I guess you’d just have him Thursday through Sunday.”

It was impossible to miss the excitement in Waverly’s eyes as she nodded quickly. “I’ll be there. I’ll be ready.”

Nicole gave her a gentle smile. “It’s not a test, Waves.”

“I know. I-I just want to do right by him.”

Nicole looked into the play area, where Phoenix was figuring out how to climb the ladder to the slide with his cast on. “We both do,” she murmured.


	4. staring at the blank page

“What do you want for dinner?” Waverly asked, glancing in the backseat at the little boy staring out the window.

“Dinosaur chicken nuggets.”

Waverly laughed. “You always want dinosaur chicken nuggets.”

Phoenix pouted at her in the mirror. “I’m gonna be a paw-lee-own-tall-o-jist when I grow up, Mama. I need to start studying _now_!”

“Okay, well, first you’re going to need to study how to pronounce ‘paleontologist’.” Waverly shook her head slowly. “Second of all, I _guess_ that means we’re going to have to have dinosaur chicken nuggets for dinner.”

_“Yes!”_

Waverly grinned and turned down the street that led to her apartment. “Are you okay with spending a bit more time with me with your mom working?”

“’Course, Mama. I like your house.”

“Aw.”

“It’s where I keep my Pokemon cards.”

Waverly gave a sharp laugh and shook her head again. “Nix, do me a favor?”

“Yeah, Mama?”

“Never change, buddy.”

 

+++++

 

“Mama, you’re not eating.”

Waverly blinked rapidly, trying not to blush as she realized she had been staring absentmindedly at her son. “Sorry, pal. I’m not very hungry, so I’m just eating slow.” She took another bite of her salad and pointed her fork at him. “How’s the _Brachiosaurus_?”

Phoenix frowned at her. “Mama, it _can’t_ be a _Brachiosaurus_. The head’s wrong.” He squinted at the nugget in his hand. “Maybe it’s a _Brontosaurus_ or a _Apatosaurus_.”

With a soft laugh, Waverly reached over and ruffled Phoenix’s hair. “I knew you were my kid.”

“Mom takes me to the dino museum sometimes. It’s awesome!”

“The dino… you mean the Wainwright Institute?”

“Yeah! The science place!”

Waverly tapped her fork against her plate for a moment. “Do you… Do you want to go there this weekend? If it’s something you’d rather do with your Mom, that’s fine, but-”

“We can really go?” Phoenix asked, excitement in his voice.

“Of course. If you’d like to.” Waverly hesitated before quickly adding, “As long as you don’t have too much homework to do.”

Phoenix pouted and leaned on his good hand. “I have to do geometry. I hate geometry.”

Waverly smiled slightly. “W-Well, I have to do some work of my own tonight. Maybe we can sit on the floor and work together?”

“Okay!”

“You have to finish your dinner first, though.”

 _“Obviously, Mama.”_ Phoenix pointed a pterodactyl at her. “You need to finish yours, too.”

“Oh, well I’ll be sure to make sure my plate passes your inspection before we leave the table, okay?”

Her son grinned at her. “You better.”

 

+++++

 

Nicole swung by the bar on her way home from work, downing a cup of coffee as she walked in.

“You’d think that raising a kid like Phoenix would let you work long hours without getting so tired, Haught,” Wynonna joked as she put a plate of a burger and fries on the counter.

With a shaky laugh, Nicole sat down and picked up a fry. “I’m getting old.”

“You’re twenty-eight. Christ. What the fuck does that make me?”

“Ancient?”

Wynonna reached across the counter and playfully shoved Nicole’s head to one side. “Go to hell, Haughtstuff.”

“Thank you, by the way. For dinner.”

“Well, y’know, gotta keep you in one piece.” Wynonna leaned on the bar, smirking. “Plus, this way I can razz you a bit about having to deal with my sister even more frequently.”

“Oh, hell.” Nicole covered her face with her hand. “Can we not do this?”

“We kind of have to. Are you going to be okay? Seeing her like this?”

Nicole crunched on a pickle for a long moment. “I don’t have a problem with Waverly.”

Wynonna’s eyes softened. “Nic. For the first _year_ of your divorce, the custody exchanges had to be done by me or Gus, because you couldn’t stand to look at each other.”

“I-I’m aware.” Nicole studied her cheeseburger. “Things are different now, Wynonna. I know they are. I can feel it.”

“Just don’t lose yourself, kid. You’re too cool for that.” Wynonna patted her roughly on the arm. “Plus, I am way too irresponsible to raise your kid if you and Waverly kill each other.”

_“Wynonna!”_

“What?”

 

+++++

 

Waverly drove to the far side of the city, to a block of streets that housed multiple museums. “Is there anything else you want to see while we’re over here, buddy?”

Phoenix stared out the window, jaw slack. “Can we go to the Short Scoop Stop?”

“I meant, like, _museums_ , but we can get ice cream, too.” She pulled into the parking lot and parked, then got out to open Phoenix’s door. “Hold up, Nix. Let me fix your tie.” Waverly crouched down and started to adjust the little t-rex-print tie her son was wearing around his neck. As she patted it flat to his button-down, she said, “You do know that you don’t _need_ to wear stuff like this when we’re out, right? I know I said so before, but… you’re seven, Phoenix.”

“Mommy says it makes me look handsome.”

“Very handsome. But that’d be _any_ day.”

“I like it.” He puffed out his chest. “Someday I’m gonna put a Superman t-shirt under my button shirts, too!”

“Of course you are,” Waverly laughed. She tapped him on the nose. “Glasses, also?”

Phoenix frowned. “Mommy said I can only get them if my eyes go bad.” He immediately brightened and grinned. “But if _you_ say I can…”

“Oh, no. No no.” Waverly stood and ushered Phoenix towards the door of the museum. “I’m not overriding your mother’s decisions like that, pal. Sorry.”

He pouted again. “Rats.”

 

+++++

 

When they finished in the museum, Waverly led Phoenix out to the car, carrying a bag full of toys and a brand new t-shirt.

“So. How’s your weekend been?”

“Eh.”

Waverly froze in her tracks, paling as she looked at him. “Only eh?”

“We didn’t get the ice cream yet.” Phoenix grinned. “ _Then_ it’ll be _perfect_.”

His mother let out a shaky sigh. “Don’t do that to me, kid.”

“Do what?”

Waverly brushed a hand through his hair and steered him by the shoulders towards the backseat of the car. “Nothing. Let’s just go, okay?”

“Okay, Mama.”

 

+++++

 

Waverly took a sip of her vanilla milkshake and watched as Phoenix carefully tucked a napkin into the collar of his shirt.

“Listen, if you don’t want to spend so much time with me, I’m sure we can break these longer visits up a bit with your Aunt Wynonna and Grandma.”

Phoenix frowned at her as he took a large bite of his chocolate and mint soft serve sundae, wincing slightly at the brain freeze. “Ilkbngwthoo.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Nix, I can’t understand a thing you’re saying.”

He swallowed and took a sip of water, then repeated, “I like being with you.”

Waverly grinned. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He took another bite and shrugged. “I don’t… see you a lot.” Phoenix bowed his head and poked at his ice cream with his spoon. “Do you…”

“Do I what?”

“Do you not want to be with me while Mom’s working?” he asked in a whisper.

Waverly’s stomach flipped. “Oh, honey, no, that’s not it at all.” She reached over with a napkin and wiped chocolate syrup off of his cheek. “I just want to make sure that this is what _you_ want.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely.” Waverly looked down at her milkshake and stirred it with her straw, trying to ignore how her hands were trembling. “Believe me, Phoenix. I want nothing more than to be in your life.”

 

+++++

 

**FIVE YEARS AGO**

 

“You’re really going to leave before he even gets back from Wynonna’s?”

Waverly zipped up her suitcase and shot a glare at Nicole. “It’s better this way.”

“Better for what? You?”

“It’s not like I’m not going to still see him.” Waverly set her suitcase on the floor and started putting her computer bag together. “I told you. We’ll work out custody. As long as I can still see him… I-I… I don’t care what you want. You can have it.”

Nicole snorted. “Right. Awesome. That’s gonna make Phoenix feel _great_ , I’m sure.”

 _“What do you want from me?”_ Waverly spun on her heel, her gaze hard fire. “I’m doing the best I can here, Nicole. I’m trying to do what’s right for all of us.”

“Yeah. Okay. Because sneaking out of the house when your son isn’t even home to say goodbye is _right_.”

“Fuck you,” Waverly muttered, closing up her bag. She picked up her suitcase and slung her computer bag over her shoulder and headed for the door. “I’ll get the rest of my stuff later.”

“You’re never even home, Waverly,” Nicole said quietly as she followed. “When do you expect to have him? You travel on most weekends. You work absurd hours on weekdays. Are you _ever_ planning on seeing your son?”

“We’ll figure it out. I told you.”

Nicole scoffed. “Yeah, Waverly. Sure. Whatever you want.”

Waverly set her suitcase down at the front door, turning to face her. “I just don’t know what you want, Nicole. This has been coming for a while. We both knew it.”

“We did.” Nicole leaned against the wall and crossed her arms. “I guess I just sort of hoped that you would prioritize your child over your job.”

“I shouldn’t have to,” Waverly snapped. “I should be able to have both.”

Nicole gave a faint, humorless smile. “Okay, but, Wave. You’ve never put Phoenix before anything. They aren’t equal if you don’t even pretend that they can be.”

Waverly stared at her for a moment before picking her bag up and opening the front door. She glanced around the house slowly, sadness setting into her eyes.

“You can have the house,” she said, her voice quiet. “You’ll need more space for you and Phoenix. I can just get an apartment.” She looked back at Nicole, defeat plain on her face. “I _do_ love him, Nicole. At the very least, please believe I love him.”

“That’s the thing, Waverly,” Nicole murmured. “That only makes this worse.”


	5. i don't need the memories we had

“I bet you’re happy to get that off,” Nicole said as she led Phoenix out of the doctor’s office.

“Casts are itchy,” he replied. “But the autographs were cool.” He jumped up onto the railing and started to slide down it instead of walking down the stairs, and Nicole immediately grabbed him and set him back on the ground.

“Buddy. Please. One broken bone is enough in a year, isn’t it?”

Phoenix pouted at her. “You’re no fun, Mom.”

“No argument from me.”

They walked down the street hand in hand, Phoenix skipping a little. “Can I ask a question, Mommy?”

“Always.”

“How did you meet Mama?”

Nicole hesitated, delaying her response by reaching over with her free hand and fidgeting with Phoenix’s hair. “I haven’t told you that before?”

“Not that I ‘member.”

“Hm. Okay. Well, I’ll give it a shot.” Nicole grinned. “Your mama might argue with me on a few of the details, though.”

 

+++++

 

**EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO**

 

The girl was so pretty that Nicole couldn’t help but stare.

It was a bad decision, she realized, when her skateboard slammed to a stop at the curb and sent her flying.

“Oh my gosh! Are you okay?”

Nicole opened her eyes and squinted up at the angel face above her. “Better now, beautiful.”

The girl snorted, though her cheeks flushed pink. “You totally hit your head.”

As the girl helped her into a sitting position, Nicole said, “Nuh-uh. Helmet.”

“So you’re just dumb?”

“Ouch.” Nicole stood up and brushed off her jeans and hoodie. She unhooked her helmet and held it out to the girl. “Wanna give the board a go?”

“I need to get home and do my homework.”

“Yeah? So do I?” Nicole gave her a weird look. “What’s your point?”

“Well…”

“C’mon. Please?”

“Oh, alright.”

The girl snapped on the helmet and let Nicole lead her back over to the street. Nicole put the board down, holding it steady with one foot, then carefully coaxed the girl to step onto it.

“It’ll be okay,” Nicole said gently. “I’ve got you.”

“You had better.”

She stepped forward, putting both feet onto the board. Nicole put her hands on the girl’s hips, helping her balance as the board rolled forward.

“See? It’s not so hard.”

“This coming from the girl who ate dirt.”

“Hey. I’m bein’ nice here.” Nicole grinned at her. “If I wasn’t nice, I’d do _this_.”

She let the girl go, chuckling as she wavered on the moving board. She let out a curse, just strong enough for a child, and toppled in Nicole’s direction, knocking them both onto the asphalt.

“Ow,” Nicole laughed.

“You’re bleeding,” the girl said urgently.

“Just a scraped elbow. I was bound to get one.” Nicole smiled up at the girl, whose face was half hidden in the too-large helmet. “See? Told ya I’d catch ya.”

“Good thing, too. We couldn’t be friends otherwise.”

“If we’re gonna be friends, you’re gonna have to tell me your name, beautiful.”

The girl smiled down at her. “Waverly. Waverly Earp.”

 

+++++

 

**PRESENT DAY**

 

Waverly knocked on Nicole’s door politely, trying not to sound overly excited.

She was getting Phoenix for a whole week, and she was a twisted combination of elated and scared out of her mind.

Nicole swung the door open, and Waverly’s eyes immediately widened.

Her ex-wife was bloody and holding a box of gauze.

“This is my blood, not Phoenix’s,” Nicole said. “He’s taking a nap.”

“Well, I’m glad our son isn’t bleeding to death, but that isn’t really very reassuring, Nicole.”

Nicole headed back into the house, Waverly following close behind. “I jumped a fence after a suspect today,” Nicole said. “The fence won. Doctor’s said it’s fine, but I need to change the bandages out, and whenever I try to do it myself, I open the damn wound again and bleed all over the place. I’m going to open my own blood bank.”

“Sit down, would you? I’ll do it before I leave.”

Nicole slumped onto the couch. “Are you sure? It’s on my side, closer to my back than my front.”

Waverly stared at her. “Nicole, I’ve seen you naked. Many, many times. I can handle seeing your _back_.”

“Just being polite,” Nicole grumbled. She pulled up her shirt, and Waverly took in a sharp breath.

“Christ, Nic, you did a number on yourself.”

“Like I said. Fence won.”

“Did you at least catch the guy?”

Nicole smirked at her. “Of course.”

Waverly picked up a piece of cotton and rubbing alcohol. “You’ve gotten it all messed up. I’m cleaning it before I bandage it.”

“Uh. No. I’m fine.”

“Don’t be such a baby,” Waverly scolded as she poured the liquid onto the wound.

Nicole yelped but stayed still, muttering curses under her breath as Waverly dried off her skin with the cotton.

“Jesus, woman, if you’re still mad at me you could’ve just said so.”

Waverly laughed and started putting the bandages on. “Torture is more fun.”

“Yeah, well, no copping a feel while your hand is back there by my ass, Earp,” Nicole joked, shooting her a grin that, to Waverly’s distress, made her heart skip a beat.

“I’m not copping a feel; I’m feeling a cop.”

Nicole stared at her. “No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Your bandages are done.”

“Good, then you can leave and take your dumb puns with you.”

“That’s not a very nice way to talk about our son.”

Nicole laughed, loudly, and lowered her shirt again. “God, Earp, sometimes I miss you so much.”

The laughter stumbled and died as awkwardness settled in between them.

“I-I should probably go,” Waverly said. “Phoenix should have dinner soon.”

“Yeah, totally,” Nicole agreed quickly. “Want me to go wake him up?”

“Please.”

As Nicole headed off to get the boy, Waverly went into the bathroom to wash her hands.

And barely resisted the urge to shove her head under cold water.

 

+++++

 

Waverly closed the book she had been reading with Phoenix, getting up to put it back on the bookshelf of the room he had in her apartment.

“Alright, buddy, it’s time for bed. You said you wanted to go to the park tomorrow, right? You need your rest, or we can’t go.”

The boy fidgeted with his stuffed tiger, not looking at her.

“Nix?”

“Mama, did you and Mom get divorced ‘cuz of me?”

Waverly sat down heavily on his bed. “What?”

Phoenix shrugged, still not looking at her. “You guys seem to like each other, but you broke up when I was little. And for a while you wouldn’t even see me, Mama. Were you fightin’ over me? I-Is… Was it my fault?”

“Oh, baby, no.” Waverly tugged him forward, hugging him fiercely and trying not to cry. “Phoenix, what happened between your mom and me was not your fault at all. Okay? We just… We _broke_ , baby, and that happens sometimes. Nobody can do anything about it. And it sure as heck was not your fault. Do you understand me?”

He nodded but said nothing, his face buried in Waverly’s shirt.

Waverly kissed him on the top of the head and closed her eyes. “You haven’t done anything wrong, baby. I promise.”


	6. can you trust this longing

Wynonna barreled into Nicole’s house, grinning and finishing off a coffee. As she tossed it into a nearby trashcan, she yelled, “Hey! Where’s the boy? We’ve got _plans_ , Haught, we’ve gotta _go_.”

Phoenix ran out of his bedroom, wearing a collared t-shirt and khaki shorts. He leapt into the air when he was a foot away from his aunt, and Wynonna crouched down at the perfect moment to catch him and pick him up.

“Man, buddy, you’re way overdressed for me,” Wynonna joked, gesturing her free hand at her ripped jeans.

“We can go shopping, Aunt ‘Nonna.”

“Ouch. Do I really look that bad?”

He patted her cheek. “Ya look like a badass.”

Wynonna paled. “Shit. Don’t say that near your moms, pal.”

“Too late,” Nicole said as she came out of the kitchen. “You’re a terrible influence, Wynonna.”

“Lies. Lies and slander.” Wynonna tapped Phoenix on the nose. “Ready to go, Nix? Maybe I’ll even let you take me shopping.”

He grinned at her. “Okay!”

“Good boy.” Wynonna kissed him loudly on the cheek, making him giggle. “Go get your bag.”

As he ran off, Nicole walked up to Wynonna and said, “That kid loves you more than I think he loves anything other than dinosaurs.”

“Yeah, well…” Wynonna shrugged. “I love him, too.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever thanked you for that,” Nicole murmured.

Wynonna pulled Nicole into a tight hug. “You have no reason to.” She patted Nicole roughly on the back and stepped away. “Phoenix! Let’s go, bud! Train’s a leavin’!”

Phoenix headed out, his backpack over his shoulders. “You have a truck, Aunt ‘Nonna.”

Nicole and Wynonna both laughed. “Never change, Nix,” Nicole said as she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “Behave, please?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“I was talking to your aunt,” Nicole said with a wink.

Wynonna ushered Phoenix toward the door, flipping the bird at his mother behind his back as they left.

 

+++++

 

Nicole had already changed into her pajamas– navy blue sweatpants and Minnesota Timberwolves t-shirt –when she heard a knock on her door. She opened it and found Waverly standing on her porch.

“Waves? What’s up?”

“I was wondering if we could talk for a bit.”

“Absolutely,” Nicole said, frowning as she opened the door further to let Waverly inside. “Is everything okay?”

“Uh.” Waverly laughed nervously. “No; I don’t think so.”

Nicole led Waverly into the living room and sat down next to her on the couch. “You’re scaring me, Wave. What’s going on? Are you okay?”

Waverly sighed heavily. “God, Nicole, I don’t know.” She bowed her head, rubbing at her eyes to try to stop herself from crying.

“Jesus, Waverly, please tell me what’s wrong.” Nicole shifted towards Waverly and hesitantly gripped her shoulder.

Waverly swallowed thickly and whispered, “Phoenix thinks our divorce was his fault.”

_“What?”_

“He asked me if we got divorced because of him. And I told him that it wasn’t his fault at all. But hell, Nic, did he really think he did this to us? Did he really think that he’s what’s keeping us apart?”

Waverly cracked, her chest heaving with sobs as she buried her face in her hands. Nicole immediately grabbed her, holding her tightly as she cried.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “Waves, it’s _okay_. I promise you. We’ll make it right. He’s loved and he knows it and the rest will follow. He just needs time to think.”

“This is all my fault,” Waverly whimpered. “I failed him. I failed you. I failed _us_. And now our son is taking it upon himself to carry my shortcomings.”

“We were kids and we were stupid,” Nicole said, her voice soft and soothing. “And no matter what happened, Waverly, you’ve _changed_. I see it. I know Phoenix sees it. You’re his mother, Waverly Earp, and you’re _here_. You haven’t failed anything.”

Waverly gave a strained laugh. “God, sometimes I really remember how I fell in love with you.”

“It was the skateboard, definitely.” As Waverly laughed again, Nicole shifted back and looked her in the eye. “Please say you believe me,” she murmured, stroking Waverly’s cheek. “You’re a good mother, Wave. We both just needed time to grow up, and we didn’t allow ourselves to take it.”

“We’re grown up now,” Waverly joked weakly.

“Yeah,” Nicole said with a grin. “Yeah, we are.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, until Nicole’s thumb on Waverly’s cheek slowed to a stop.

“Nicole,” Waverly breathed.

“Shut up. Just shut up.”

They leaned forward at the same time, pressing their lips together in a kiss so soft that they both almost didn’t feel it.

“This is a mistake,” Waverly whispered as Nicole slowly trailed kisses down her jaw and throat.

“Yes. Yes, it is.” Nicole sighed against the side of Waverly’s neck. “What do you want me to do, Waves?”

Waverly barely hesitated. “Take me to bed, Nicole. Please.”

Nicole raised her head, meeting Waverly’s gaze evenly. She kissed Waverly on the mouth again, harder this time, then picked her up and carried her towards the bedroom.


	7. just take your time

Wynonna opened the front door of Nicole’s house, almost spilling her coffee as Phoenix pushed past her.

“Careful, little dude. I’ll come in and make you breakfast after I wake your mom.”

She headed down the hallway and cracked open the door to the master bedroom. And froze when she saw Waverly and Nicole tangled up together, sound asleep, the sheets a rumpled mess around them.

“Oh, you idiots,” Wynonna whispered. She pulled the door shut again, quietly, and headed back out to the kitchen. “Hey, Nix, your mom is still really tired. How do you feel about McDonald’s for breakfast?”

“Okay!” He sprinted for the door, a bounce in his step.

Wynonna followed more slowly, trying not to let her worry show on her face.

 

+++++

 

Waverly opened her eyes, and for a solid minute she had no idea where she was or whose bed she was in. It caused a brief panic, but when she realized, she wasn’t entirely sure it made her feel any better.

“Hi,” she whispered, looking up at Nicole, who was sitting next to her, the sheets pooled around her waist.

“Hi,” Nicole echoed. “How’d you sleep?”

“Surprisingly well, considering…” Waverly trailed off, her brow furrowing. “Christ, Nicole, when did you learn to do that? You sure as fuck never did when we were married.”

“You learn a few things when you grow up,” Nicole mumbled. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “We shouldn’t have done that, Waverly. We shouldn’t have gone to bed together.”

Waverly idly traced her fingers up Nicole’s spine. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault. We were both idiots last night. But I… I just…” Nicole buried her face in her hands and sighed again. “Phoenix already blames himself for the divorce. I can’t let him get his hopes up that we might get back together. I can’t do it, Waves. The sex is amazing, trust me, but I just… we can’t do this.”

“Hey.” Waverly sat up and put her arm around Nicole’s shoulders. “I know. Okay? I know. Believe me, Nicole, I don’t want to hurt our son. Not again. Not when I’m finally starting to win his trust again.”

“He trusts you,” Nicole murmured.

“We both know that’s only partially true.”

Nicole turned Waverly’s head, skimming her finger along her ex-wife’s jaw. “He loves you. That much is fully true. Never doubt that, Wave.”

“I love him, too.”

“That’s what we have to keep in mind,” Nicole said. “No matter what.”

 

+++++

 

When Waverly walked into the bar, she didn’t notice the glare Wynonna shot at her.

“Hey there,” she said, taking a seat on one of the stools. “Can you get me a beer, sis? It’s been a bit of a day.”

“Oh, really? Has it?” Wynonna slammed the beer onto the counter, nearly shattering the glass. “Have a _rough day_ , Waverly?”

Waverly blinked at her, bewildered. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I want to know what the _fuck_ you were thinking,” Wynonna growled. She jabbed her finger into Waverly’s face, her eyes blazing. “I swear to hell, Waves, I love you, but if you hurt Phoenix again, I will rip you apart.”

“Why would I-” Waverly paled. “How do you know about that?”

“Know what? That you and Nicole _fucked_ last night?” Wynonna laughed loudly, only lowering her voice when she drew the attention of a few curious bar patrons. She leaned in towards Waverly and hissed, “Because when I came by this morning to drop your son off, I tried to go wake Nicole up, and instead I found her and you tangled all up together like a couple of fucking lovebirds. Which you aren’t, remember? Or do I need to go make a copy of your divorce papers?”

“I-It was just a one time thing, Wynonna…” Waverly stammered, avoiding eye contact with her sister.

“It damn well better be.”

“You’re being a _little_ overdramatic,” Waverly mumbled. “I-I… We’re adults now, Wyn, we can sleep with whoever we want…”

“You were adults when you went off and married each other like idiots, too. And then you did nothing but hurt each other and a little boy who thinks the world of both of you. So unless something has changed, Waverly? Stay the fuck away from each other, and save yourselves, and your _son_ , the pain that’ll be inevitable.” Wynonna stormed away to the other end of the bar.

Waverly, feeling nauseous, got up and left without even sipping her beer.

 

+++++

 

Nicole opened her door to find Waverly on her porch.

“We have to keep meeting like this,” she joked weakly.

Waverly didn’t laugh. “Is Phoenix in bed?”

“Yes.”

“Can we talk?”

“Sure. Come in.”

They walked into the living room, but they took seats in chairs opposite each other. “This is silly, isn’t it?” Nicole murmured with a laugh. “We’re grown adults and we have to separate ourselves so we don’t have sex.” When she got no response, she said, “Waverly, what’s wrong?”

“I’ve changed, haven’t I?”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“The person I was before. When I caused our divorce. I’m not that person anymore, am I?”

“You didn’t cause-”

Waverly gave a sharp laugh. “Don’t do that, Nicole. We both know the truth.”

Nicole was silent for a long moment. “I don’t know, Waverly. If you’re the same person. I don’t _think_ you are. You seem different. You’re certainly around more often. But if I’m being honest– with both of us –then I don’t know the answer to that question.”

Waverly fidgeted with her hands. “Can we find out?”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to… I don’t know. I want us to spend time together, all three of us. So that we know whether or not we’re the same idiot kids who couldn’t keep it together back then.”

Nicole’s eyes were soft as she whispered, “Why?”

Waverly hesitated, fear etched on her face. Then, quietly, she said, “Because dammit, Nicole Haught, I’m still in love with you. And if we realize that this path is going to hurt Phoenix, then fine. It ends, and we stick to just being friends, and we both live with that. But I… I can’t live with not knowing, Nicole. With not knowing if we’ve changed for the better.” Her voice dropped so that it was almost inaudible. “Please. Please tell me you feel the same.”

Nicole stood and walked over to her, sitting down on the table in front of her chair. She took Waverly’s hands in hers carefully and met her gaze. “Waverly. I have been in love with you since I was ten years old. It hasn’t changed at all over all these years. So if you want to give it a shot. If you think we can give this a real shot, without dragging our son into it. Then I want nothing more than that.”

“Oh, thank god,” Waverly whispered. She leaned forward and kissed Nicole hard, then immediately pulled back and tapped her finger on Nicole’s lips. “But _no sex_. We can’t figure anything out if we’re falling into bed every five minutes.”

“Five minutes? How much stamina do you think I have?” Nicole held up her hands quickly, grinning as Waverly glared at her. “I know. I know. And I agree.”

Waverly rolled her eyes and hugged her. “We can do this,” she whispered. “We _can_.” She assumed Nicole didn’t hear her as she added, “We have to.”


	8. make somebody's night

Nicole sat down next to Phoenix as he carefully put his Halloween costume together in a neat pile on his dresser. “Hey, buddy, can I talk to you for a second?”

Phoenix hopped up onto the bed with her. “Sure, Mommy.”

“We’re going to carve pumpkins tonight, like every year, right?”

“Right.”

“Well…” Nicole stroked her fingers through the back of his hair. “Your mama was wondering if she could join us. If you’d be okay with that.”

He started bouncing up and down on the bed. “Can she come trick-or-treatin’ with us too?”

Nicole laughed and kissed his temple. “You can ask her, okay?”

_“Yessssss!”_

 

+++++

 

Waverly leaned over to Phoenix and pretended to whisper as she said, “I think your mom is carving a sculpture over there.”

Nicole shot a glare at her over her pumpkin. “This is _very delicate work_ , Earp.”

“Sure it is. Or you’re a just a nerd.”

Phoenix snickered. “Probably the nerd.”

Nicole set her knife down on the table. “Oh. Is that how it is?”

“Yeah,” Phoenix said with a grin.

“Well.” Nicole stood slowly. “If _that_ is how it’s gonna be.” She lunged forward, grabbing Phoenix and pulling him out of his chair. She set him on her hip and started spinning him around, smiling broadly as he giggled loudly and freely.

Waverly watched them, a small smile on her face and a warmth in her heart.

 

+++++

 

The three of them sat on the couch as their pumpkins sat finished on the table. Phoenix laid with his head in Waverly’s lap, sleepily watching _Scooby-Doo and the Witch’s Ghost_. Behind him, on the top of the couch, Nicole casually linked her fingers with Waverly’s.

“Mama,” Phoenix murmured, and Waverly quickly pulled her hand away from Nicole and started stroking his hair.

“Yeah, Nix?”

“Will you go trick-or-treating with us tomorrow?”

Waverly glanced at Nicole, who nodded. “Sure, pal. I’ll come along if you’d like me to.”

Phoenix snuggled back against Waverly more, his eyes drifting closed. “Mhm.”

 

+++++

 

After Waverly carried the boy into bed and tucked him in, she headed for the front door. “You know,” she said as she picked up her keys, “I don’t have to go tomorrow if you don’t want me to.”

Nicole cupped her face in her hands and kissed her softly. “Our son wants you there, Wave. And so do I.”

Waverly sighed and rested her forehead against Nicole’s shoulder. “I’m just so nervous, Nic. All the time.”

“I know you are.” Nicole reached up and stroked the back of Waverly’s neck. “But it’ll be alright. Nerves are _good_ , baby.”

“Are they?”

“Yes. It shows that you’re _trying_.” Nicole brushed her thumb over Waverly’s cheek and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We both are.”

 

+++++

 

Phoenix ran ahead of them, almost losing his hat in a gust of wind as he headed up to the front porch of what had to be the hundredth house. Waverly leaned against Nicole’s side heavily. “How do you do this every year?”

Nicole held up a Starburst wrapper and lightly shook the bag of candy she was gripping in her hand. “Sugar.”

Waverly smacked her arm. “That’s Phoenix’s.”

“Do _you_ want him to eat all of this?”

She stared at her. “Carry on.”

“That’s what I thought,” Nicole grunted as she unwrapped another one.

Waverly squinted at the boy as he adjusted the red bandana he was wearing around his neck. “Who is he dressed up as again?”

“I dunno. The dude from _Jurassic Park_.”

“Alan Grant.”

“Sure? I don’t like dinosaurs.”

Waverly blinked at her. “Then why do you take him to dinosaur museums?”

Nicole shrugged. “Keeps him entertained.”

“Fair enough.” They went to the next house. “Wait a minute. Why the hell does our seven-year-old know who the lead from _Jurassic Park_ is?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not exactly a friendly movie for small children…”

Nicole gave a small snort. “Yeah, well, tell your sister that.”

“Oh.” Waverly shivered. “Not getting involved in _that_ conversation, thanks.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

“She knows we had sex.”

Nicole choked on her candy. “Excuse me?”

“Wynonna knows we had sex. She saw us in bed when she came to drop Phoenix off that morning. And she does not approve, which she made perfectly clear to me.”

“Do you need me to talk to her?” Nicole asked quietly, hearing the pain in Waverly’s voice.

Waverly sighed and shook her head. “No. She wasn’t… What she said wasn’t _wrong_. I just need to prove that I’m better.”

Nicole hesitated as Phoenix ran ahead. “Wave… We aren’t doing this just to prove something to Wynonna, are we?”

“Oh, god, no, of course not.” Waverly glanced around, then reached up and stroked Nicole’s cheek with the back of her knuckles. “All that conversation did was made me realize what I really want. And what I want is you, Nicole. You and Phoenix.”

Nicole grinned down at her. “Good.” She held up a pack of Reese’s Cups. “Sugar?”

Waverly laughed and pulled Nicole down the sidewalk so they could catch up with their son. “No. I think I’ll live.”

“Suit yourself. He still has another six blocks that he normally goes to.”

Waverly groaned loudly. “Hand over the candy.”


	9. what's wrong with being confident

“This game discriminates against short people.”

“This game actually discriminates against people who suck at sports.” Nicole dribbled the basketball around Waverly and jumped up, easily putting it into the hoop. “Hey, Nix, what’s the score?”

“You’ve got an _H_ and Mama’s got an _H-O-R-S_.”

Nicole grinned and backed several feet away from the net. “Only one letter left, Wave. Unless you want to play _HORSES_?”

“Just throw the damn ball.”

Nicole tossed it easily from her spot and watched it swish easily through the netting. Waverly groaned and just sat down on the concrete, lying flat on her back and staring at the sky. “I give up. Yield. Surrender.”

“Hey, Nix, wanna dunk the ball?”

“Yes!”

Nicole handed the basketball to her son, stepping over Waverly to pick him up. “Remember to dribble.”

He bounced the ball carefully as Nicole walked towards the hoop. Then, when he was close enough, he gripped the ball between both of his hands, and Nicole lifted him up so that he could slam the ball down into the net.

“Yeah!” Nicole spun around, still holding Phoenix up into the air. “Look at that, Waves! Future star, right here.”

“Great,” Waverly muttered. “Someone else who can beat me at _HORSE_.”

Nicole leaned in towards Phoenix’s ear and pretended to whisper. “Your mama is a _sore loser_.”

“Shut up, Nicole.”

“What if I bought you ice cream?”

Waverly craned her neck to look at her. “… Congratulations on your well-earned victory, Ms. Haught.”

 

+++++

 

They walked through the park, Waverly and Nicole ignoring Phoenix as he repeatedly asked for a quarter so he could feed the ducks and fish.

“People do nothing all day but feed them,” Waverly explained gently. “It’s not good for them.”

“But,” he pouted. “Ducks.”

Nicole and Waverly each pretended not to notice the other slipping the boy some change from their pockets.

Once he was done and had washed his hands in a park bathroom, they grabbed three ice cream cones from a vendor.

For Nicole, mint chocolate chip.

For Waverly, chocolate and peanut butter swirl.

For Phoenix, strawberry.

“You’re not my son,” Nicole said darkly, watching him happily enjoy his treat. “No child of mine would willingly eat strawberry ice cream.”

“Aunt Chrissy likes it,” he replied.

Nicole looked at Waverly. “I’m sorry, Wave, but I’m going to have to go to prison after I murder your best friend.”

Waverly shrugged. “That’s fine.”

They walked for a while, until Phoenix finished his cone and held up his hands.

“I need a napkin, Mom.”

“Good thing I grabbed several, then,” Nicole said as she handed him a small stack.

“Can I have a dog, too?”

Waverly choked on her ice cream. “I’m sorry, a what?”

“A dog. A puppy.”

Nicole frowned down at him. “Buddy, we can’t handle a dog right now. I’m taking extra shifts, and you’re going between my place and your mama’s.”

“Oh.” Phoenix sighed heavily. “I wish we all still lived together.”

Waverly and Nicole glanced at each other. “U-Uh…”

“Then we could just get the dog.”

Nicole laughed, only a little nervously, and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. “Your ice cream choices are questionably a part of this family,” she said, “but your _mouth_ is _definitely_ the right brand.”

 

+++++

 

Waverly and Nicole sat on the couch together after Phoenix went to bed, sipping glasses of wine.

“Hey, Phoenix said that he might need my help with some homework next week,” Waverly said. “Is it alright if I come over?”

“Absolutely.” Nicole leaned back against the cushions. “As long as he isn’t calculating how hard it would be for him to get a dog.”

Waverly laughed. “Yeah, that would be a bad idea.”

“At least he knows what a dog is now. When we went to my parents’ ranch when he was little, he kept calling horses ‘dogs’. Every time I tried to correct him, he just called them ‘dogs’ harder.”

“He’s a stubborn little guy, isn’t he?”

Nicole nodded. “He’s strong.”

“Just like his mom,” Waverly murmured.

They stared at each other for a long moment, until Waverly set her wine glass down on the table. She took Nicole’s glass and set it down as well, then shifted around and straddled Nicole’s lap.

“We shouldn’t do this here,” Nicole whispered.

“I know. But we’ll keep to the rule. I just want to kiss you, Nicole. I really, _really_ want to kiss you.”

Nicole gripped Waverly’s chin, holding her in place so she could stare into her eyes. “Dammit,” she muttered. “I want to kiss you, too.”

Waverly grinned and looped her arms around Nicole’s neck. “Good.” She leaned forward, pressing their lips together, and sinking them into a makeout session full of desperate interruptions to keep themselves from pulling at each other’s clothes.


	10. forget you for one whole minute

“I don’t think you really needed my help,” Waverly said with a grin as she ruffled Phoenix’s hair and kissed him on the head.

Phoenix pouted at her. “Yes I did. You’re moral support.”

Waverly laughed and pressed their foreheads together. “Where did you even learn the phrase ‘moral support’?”

“I listen.”

“Mhm. I bet you do.”

He shrugged and started fidgeting with his pencil. “Plus, I like bein’ with you more now. It’s been fun.”

Waverly, tears fighting in her eyes, kissed him again. “I’ve been having fun, too, buddy.”

Nicole wandered into the room and leaned against the back of Waverly’s chair. “Hey. Phoenix and I are having mac and cheese for dinner. Feel like staying and joining in?”

Waverly watched Nicole’s face for a moment, the warm openness and welcome in her smile. “Sure,” she whispered. “I’d love to.”

 

+++++

 

Phoenix shoved a forkful of pasta into his mouth and mumbled, “Ddjunotht-”

“Nix,” Nicole interrupted gently. “Can you at least swallow first, please?”

He did sheepishly and grinned. “Sorry, Mommy.”

“What were you saying?”

“Did you know that the first identified dinosaur species in North America was found in Haddonfield, New Jersey?”

Waverly gave a small smile as she picked up her water glass. “Is that so?”

“Yep! The… uhm… the _Hadrosaurus_!”

“And what was the first dinosaur _ever_ discovered?” Nicole asked as she got up to put more food on her plate.

Phoenix looked at her like she was an idiot. “The _Megalosaurus_ in England, but only because China thought they were dragon bones.”

“Who says they _aren’t_ dragon bones?”

“Because dragons aren’t real, _Mom_.”

Nicole sat back down and leaned forward, grinning. “Yeah, they are. I saw one the other day.”

“Nuh-uh. They’re fiction.”

Waverly swallowed her mouthful of mac and cheese and said, “Well, if dragons aren’t real, what about Phoenixes?”

He paused, frowning. “I’m the only one,” he finally declared.

“Good to know,” Nicole laughed. “We wouldn’t want to get you mixed up with somebody else.”

“You wouldn’t,” he insisted, puffing out his chest. “I’m special.”

Waverly reached out and gently ran her fingers through his hair. “Buddy, you have no idea,” she said softly.

 

+++++

 

Once Phoenix went to bed, Waverly and Nicole lingered on the couch, chatting idly.

“It really means a lot to him, you know,” Nicole said softly. “You being here, I mean. He notices. And he loves being with you.”

“I love being with him.” Waverly absentmindedly lifted Nicole’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of her palm. “Thank you for letting me be in his life.”

“He’s your son, too, Wave. I’m just glad you never forgot him.”

Waverly glanced at her. “I never will, Nicole. He matters. He always mattered, I just… I sometimes screwed up at remembering that it also mattered to be around when he was growing up. I wanted to provide for him. To be successful for him. I never realized that all he wanted was _me_ , not what I could afford.” She glanced around the house, sorrow in her eyes. “I’ve been giving him a home all these years, but that’s not giving him love. Not really. He deserves better than that.”

“He does,” Nicole said, her voice low. “You deserve better, too. And you’re finally starting to allow you both to have it.”

“I’m not sure what I would do without you, Nicole Haught,” Waverly murmured.

“You won’t need to find out for a good long while.” Nicole stroked Waverly’s cheek, making her close her eyes. “It’s late, Wave. Why don’t you just stay here? There’s no sense in you trying to drive home when it’s this dark and cold and you’re tired.”

Waverly leaned into Nicole’s touch. “I could do that,” she mumbled. “I’d like that.”

“Come on, then.”

 

+++++

 

They settled into Nicole’s bed, Waverly wearing an old set of t-shirt and sweatpants from Nicole’s days at the police academy.

“Are you comfortable?” Nicole asked, whispering into Waverly’s ear as she pulled her in close.

“I dunno,” Waverly replied dryly. “You’re a little too attractive when you’re sleepy and this close to me.”

Nicole laughed, and Waverly felt her stomach flip. “Waverly,” she scolded. “We’re supposed to be behaving.”

“I know, I know. We’re just going to _sleep_.”

They laid together, Nicole’s breath lightly brushing against the back of Waverly’s neck, their bodies pressed close.

After almost two hours, they still hadn’t fallen asleep.

“I can’t take this anymore, Wave,” Nicole sighed.

Waverly’s heart plummeted to her feet. “If you want me to just leave, I’ll-”

She was cut off as she was suddenly flipped onto her back with Nicole sliding on top of her, knees settling on either side of Waverly’s hips. She grabbed Waverly’s wrists and pinned them to the mattress above her head.

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Nicole growled.

“Oh,” Waverly squeaked. She cleared her throat and repeated, “Oh.”

Nicole leaned down, pressing soft, slow kisses along the line of Waverly’s jaw that made Waverly shiver. “Tell me to stop, Waves,” she practically begged. “Tell me you don’t want this.”

“I don’t think I can do that, Nic.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, a silent conversation shooting back and forth between them.

“I don’t want you to stop,” Waverly whispered.

Nicole took in a sharp breath that sounded almost like a hiss, then she didn’t say anything more. She just tightened her grip on Waverly’s wrists and surged downward to kiss her.


	11. can't live a day without you

Waverly woke to Nicole kissing a pattern up the side of her throat.

“Wherever you’re going,” she mumbled, voice ragged, “don’t.”

“ _We_ are going to breakfast with our son.” Nicole covered Waverly’s mouth with a hand and pressed her knee between Waverly’s legs to make her moan. “There’s a key next to your phone. Lock up and meet us at the Pancake House.”

“You’re a cruel temptress, Nicole Haught,” Waverly grumbled into Nicole’s palm.

Nicole nipped at the spot behind Waverly’s ear that made her squirm. “Yeah, but I’m gonna buy you pancakes and you’ll get to spend time with our son.”

“Dammit. You make a good point.”

 

+++++

 

As Phoenix wandered out of his room, carefully buttoning his shirt, Nicole tossed a jacket at him. “Ready for some breakfast, bud?”

He made a giggled noise of protest as his coat hit him in the face. “Yeah.”

Nicole crouched down in front of him and poked his chest. “Your mama is going to meet us there.”

Phoenix’s eyes lit up. “She is?”

“Mhm.”

He put his coat on quickly and practically bounced over to the door. “What are you waiting for, Mommy?”

Nicole laughed and picked up her jacket from the nearby chair. “Alright, Tigger, don’t worry. I’m coming.”

 

+++++

 

“A buncha my friends are signin’ up to play baseball in the spring,” Phoenix said as he shoved a huge forkful of sausage into his mouth. “Cn I d’ tht tooooo?”

Nicole sighed and covered her face with a hand. “Buddy, one of these days you’re going to choke to death if you keep talking while you eat.”

He swallowed. “Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh.”

Phoenix pouted at Waverly. “Is that gonna happen, Mama?”

Waverly took a sip of her orange juice. “I would imagine either that, or you’ll puke.”

He considered it for a moment. “Aunt ‘Nonna would laugh at that one.”

Nicole pointed her butter knife at him. “No.”

“But I think he can play baseball. What do you think, Nic?”

“Yeah, sure.” Nicole smirked at Waverly. “The more energy he spends on the field, the less he’ll be running around the house.”

“Oh, jeez, let’s sign him up for everything we’re legally allowed to, then.”

Phoenix ate another mouthful of food that was too big, then said, “Can the elementary school get a chess club, too? Can you ask them?”

Nicole sighed and rested her head in her hands again. “Buddy, you’re too smart for your own good, I think.”

“Whaddya mean, Mom?”

“You’re too much like your mama.”

Waverly jabbed a finger into Nicole’s side, making her flinch and buck away.

“She means you’re amazing, sweetie,” Waverly said through a grin, her fingers tracing a light pattern on Nicole’s leg under the table.

 

+++++

 

On her lunch break at work, Nicole swung by Gus’s place to pick up a textbook Phoenix had left there the previous night.

“I’m not sure how he does these things,” Nicole joked. “He’s not usually forgetful.”

“Neither are you.”

Nicole hesitated, setting the book down on the kitchen table as she took a seat. Calmly, she folded her hands in front of her and said, “If you have something to say, Gus, please say it.”

“Wynonna told me that you slept with Waverly again.”

“I did.” Nicole met Gus’s gaze evenly. “More than once.”

_“Nicole!”_ Gus hissed, taking a seat across from her. “You know that she’s no good for you. Lord knows I love the girl, but she’s a damn mess.”

“She was. And I know that.” Nicole squeezed her hands tighter. “But she’s changed, Gus. I can see it. I can _feel_ it.”

“And what about Phoenix?”

“He’ll be fine. I promise. We’re taking him into consideration. We aren’t going to say anything to him until we’re more sure.”

“Sure of…” Gus’s eyes widened. “Oh, you stupid girl. You’re trying again, aren’t you? It’s not just a few mistakes in bed. You’re actually… You’re _dating_.”

“In a sense. We’re really just spending time together, all three of us.”

“Nicole,” Gus said sympathetically. “You deserve better than someone who prioritizes work over family.”

“I know that. But I believe in her, Gus. I can’t just let her go.” Nicole shrugged and stared down at her hands. “Since we… Since the divorce, I have tried. So hard. I’ve tried _so damn hard_ to move on from her. Dates and dinners and anything I could manage. But none of it worked, Gus, and do you know why?”

“Why?” Gus whispered.

“Because none of them were Waverly.” Nicole raised her head, her eyes glistening. “Every single damn one of those women got compared to her, and every one of them failed, because it’s impossible for somebody else to be her. I don’t know who I am without her. I love her, Gus. With every bone in my body and every fiber of my being. I figured out a long time ago that if I had truly lost Waverly forever, then I would be alone just as long. That’s just how it is.”

Gus reached across the table and squeezed Nicole’s hand. “You know exactly who you are, sweetheart. You’re Nicole Haught. A good cop. A good mother. A good woman. I’m sorry that it’s not enough to fill your heart.”

Nicole patted the top of Gus’s hand and swallowed. “I would do anything for her. And I’m willing to find out if she’s ready to do the same for me. I’ll take that risk. Because I trust that this time? She really is the woman I always thought she was.”

She stood up, careful to remember the book she had been sent to retrieve, and headed out of the house, leaving Gus staring thoughtfully after her.


	12. stranger to this feeling

Phoenix skipped a little ways ahead of Wynonna, happily eating chocolate Dippin’ Dots. “Why aren’t you waitin’ for the Black Friday sales, Aunt ‘Nonna?”

His aunt snorted. “Buddy, you couldn’t pay me to fight a mob just to get ten bucks off a big screen television.”

“Awww. But a new TV would be cool.”

Wynonna gently knocked his head to the side. “You just want a new way to watch _Pokemon_.”

“… Maybe.” Phoenix threw out his garbage and turned, walking backwards so he could face Wynonna while he talked. “Are you ever gonna have kids, Aunt ‘Nonna?”

“Uhhh. I don’t know?” Wynonna shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about it. Why? Need a cousin?”

“I don’t see my other cousins much,” Phoenix pointed out.

“Mm. Well. Let’s work on something else for the time being, huh, pal?”

He thought for a moment, turning back around to face forward. “Can we work on getting my moms back together?”

“What?”

“They still like each other. I think. We’re together all the time; can’t they just-”

Wynonna spun him around and crouched down in front of him. “Phoenix. What do you mean you’re together all the time?”

“Mom and Mama are always playin’ with me and takin’ me places and eatin’ dinner together with me.” He shrugged. “It’s nice.”

“Yeah.” Wynonna absentmindedly hugged him, ignoring his muffled noise of surprised. “I’m sure it is, buddy.”

 

+++++

 

“Wynonna needs to take the kid more often,” Nicole joked as she leaned down to kiss Waverly roughly.

“She would love to,” Waverly sighed. “But she would also get suspicious.”

“And we’d miss Nix.” Nicole skimmed her hand down Waverly’s side. “I love you, you know.”

Waverly cupped Nicole’s face in her hands. “I tried so hard to stop loving you. It never worked out.”

“What’s the matter, Earp?” Nicole asked with a smirk. “Am I too irresistible?”

She ducked her head down towards Waverly’s chest, and Waverly’s eyes rolled back in her head. “Yes,” Waverly groaned. “That is definitely the problem.”

 

+++++

 

“You ready to go, Nix?”

Phoenix grinned up at Waverly and nodded. Waverly rested a hand on the back of his neck, nodded at Wynonna and Nicole, and headed out of the house.

Ten seconds after they had left, Wynonna rounded on Nicole.

_“What the fuck are you thinking?”_

“Oh, boy,” Nicole muttered.

“You’re still screwing around with Waverly, aren’t you?” Wynonna demanded.

Nicole held up her hands. “It’s not what you think, okay? We’re doing the smart thing. We aren’t just fooling around; we’re taking things slow. We don’t want to hurt Phoenix.”

“Yeah?” Wynonna got in Nicole’s face. “Well he’s _noticed_ that the three of you are hanging out like a _family_ again. So if whatever this shit is blows up, you _will_ hurt him, you asshole.”

“It’s just some outings and some dinners that we know Phoenix would like,” Nicole protested. “It’s not a big deal, Wynonna. Can you let it go? I trust Waverly. I feel in my heart that I can trust her.”

Wynonna scoffed. “I didn’t realize your heart was located in your vagina.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, until Nicole burst into a fit of giggles and leaned back to support herself against the couch.

“Look, _Haught_ , just because I make you laugh doesn’t mean I don’t have a point.”

“I’m sorry,” Nicole wheezed, “but _seriously_?”

“Shut the hell up or I’ll deck you.”

“You can try.”

“Is this really a laughing matter? I’m pissed the hell off at you, Nicole, because you’re being an irresponsible jackass, and-” She broke off, losing the fight against her laughter as Nicole continued to giggle in front of her.

 

+++++

 

Nicole watched as Waverly worked urgently on something on her laptop, her eyes glued on her screen. “I sent Phoenix in to take a bath,” she said, buttoning up her uniform. “When he gets out, he needs to finish up his homework.”

“Alright,” Waverly replied.

Glancing back to ensure that their son was still in the bathroom, Nicole leaned down and kissed Waverly on the top of the head.

“Are you okay?” she murmured.

“Hm? Oh. Yeah. We just have a really big account in the works, and there’s another company trying to outbid us. If we don’t get this, we’re screwed.” Waverly mumbled a curse under her breath and erased an entire page worth of what she had been writing. “My entire team is working on this. Fuck knows what’ll happen if we fuck it up.”

“Relax,” Nicole said softly. “You’ll do fine.”

Waverly made a grumbled noise of acknowledgement.

Nicole adjusted her utility belt. “I’m not picking Phoenix up tomorrow, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Waverly agreed, still staring at her screen.

She leaned into the bathroom to say goodbye to her son, then Nicole walked out of the apartment.

 

+++++

 

She was hunched over her desk, buried in the paperwork on a traffic accident, when her cellphone lit up with Wynonna’s caller ID.

“Wyn, I’m a little busy, can I call you ba-”

_“Next time,”_ Wynonna growled, _“you and Waverly want to spend the afternoon fucking and forget about your son, remember to call and tell me that you got your pants back on in time to pick him up.”_

Nicole froze, her grip on her phone tightening. “What?”

_“I’m just giving you shit, Nicole. But seriously, I got a call from the school telling me that nobody had picked Phoenix up yet. So I drive alllllll the way over here, and he’s already gone. You could’ve had the decency to call me so that I could’ve just stopped and gotten myself dinner instead of standing here like an idiot.”_

“Wynonna, I don’t have Phoenix. I’m still at work.”

There was a long pause, during which Nicole’s blood ran cold. _“What do you mean? Waverly said she doesn’t have him. She thought you were picking him up.”_

“What?” Nicole repeated, her voice hoarse. “I thought _she_ was picking him up.”

After another pause, Wynonna whispered, _“Nicole. Where’s your son?”_


	13. details we both forgot to mention

The AMBER alert was issued within an hour.

“Nicole, I need you to breathe,” Lieutenant Randy Nedley said quietly, sitting on her living room couch and watching her pace back and forth.

“I don’t know how to do that,” Nicole rasped. “I don’t know how the fuck you want me to do that.”

“Because the only way you can help your son is if you help me.”

Nicole paused, clearly battling with herself, before leaning against the back of the chair Waverly was seated in. “I don’t know how to help, Lieu.”

Nedley glanced at Waverly, who was staring blankly at the picture of Phoenix- a school photo from the year  prior, of him giving a serious look to the camera and wearing a blue shirt with a colored pocket and white collar. “I need you both to tell me what happened today. Okay?”

“I’m not sure. Waverly was supposed to pick him up after school.”

“What?” Waverly looked up suddenly, confusion and worry furrowing her brow. “N-No. I thought you were-”

“Wave, we talked about it yesterday.”

“You said _you_ were picking him up.”

“No, I said I’m _not_ picking him up.”

“How is that not confusing as hell, Nicole? You knew I was distracted.”

“Yeah,” Nicole snapped. “By your goddamn job.”

“And where the fuck were _you_?” Waverly demanded with a snarl. “You were working too, Nicole, so I don’t see how you can blame _me_ for-”

Nedley cleared his throat loudly. “Hey. This isn’t helping anybody.”

“We just want our son back,” Nicole whispered.

“I promise you, Nicole,” he murmured. “I know I’m not supposed to promise. But I’m going to do it anyway. We’ll find him.”

Nicole jerked away as Waverly tried to reach back and grip her hand. “We had _better_ find him,” she muttered coldly before stalking away to get a glass of water from the kitchen.

 

+++++

 

“Xavier, I need you to cover the work,” Waverly said into her phone. “I-I-I… Somebody… Phoenix is missing.”

_“Jesus, Waverly. Is there anything I can do?”_

“Just. Just keep the boat floating, okay? I… I can’t deal with it right now.”

On the other end of the line, she could practically hear her assistant sales manager’s grim concern. _“Of course. Let me know if you need some boots on the ground, alright?”_

Waverly gave a nervous, sighing laugh. “Thank you, Xavier.”

As she hung up, she realized that Nicole was standing behind her. “Is there any news?”

“The Feds will be here in a few minutes.” Nicole leaned against the bedroom door. “Are you serious, Waves? You called work?”

“Don’t do that,” Waverly whispered. “I had to let them know what was going on. Don’t act like this was my fault.”

Nicole sat down heavily on the bed and ran a hand over her face. “I don’t know who to blame, Waverly.” She leaned on her knees and bowed her head. “Did we make a mistake?”

“What?”

“We had a good organization to things. We had it all figured out. We fucked it up by trying to start over, and now…”

Waverly swallowed, her hands shaking. “I don’t know, Nicole.”

“And that’s not good enough,” Nicole murmured. She glanced towards the window when she heard car doors slamming, and she stood. “That’s probably the Feds.”

 

+++++

 

“Good evening,” a mustached man in a suit said as Nicole and Waverly walked back into the room. “I’m Agent J. Henry Holliday.” He gestured at the suited woman next to him. “This is my partner, Agent Rosita Bustillos.” He gestured at the man in jeans and a sweater. “This is our tech man, Agent Jeremy Chetri.”

“We’re going to-”

Henry held up a hand to cut Jeremy off. “Make it simple, Agent Chetri, please.”

“Right. Right. Sorry. Uhm. We’re going to put bugs on your phones and use them to listen in so that if the kidnappers call we can record it and try to trace it, of course not that we know if the _are_ kidnappers or anything yet, but we need to make sure that we have all our bases are loaded- no, covered, bases are covered, is that right? I think that’s right-”

“We don’t let him out much,” Rosita interrupted dryly.

Henry held out a picture to Nicole and Waverly. “This is a picture from a security camera of the person who picked up Phoenix. Do you recognize her?”

Nicole and Waverly both stared at the image of the blonde-haired woman.

“I’ve never seen her before,” Nicole said.

“No; I don’t recognize her,” Waverly agreed.

“Alright. Well. We’re going to figure this out. Okay? We’re doing everything we can to find your son.”

Nicole snorted. “I’m a cop, Agent Holliday. I know appeasement when I hear it.”

“You’re a cop, yes. So you know that we really are doing whatever we can manage to do for you.” Henry raised an eyebrow. “And you also know that we’re going to need to talk to you and your ex-wife. We’re going to need to eliminate the both of you.”

“You think we’d steal our own son?” Waverly asked angrily.

Nicole absentmindedly brushed her fingers along the back of Waverly’s neck. “He thinks it’s possible that one of us tried to solve a custody issue by taking matters into our own hands,” she said quietly. “They _need_ to know, Waves.”

 

+++++

 

Nicole handed Rosita a cup of coffee and sat down across from her at the kitchen table. She glanced towards the living room. “Agent Holliday is talking to Waverly now?”

“Yes. Is that a problem?”

“I just hope she’s okay.” Nicole sat down at the table heavily, running a hand through her hair.

“From what I understand, the two of you aren’t on very good terms right now.”

“I’m pissed at her, yes. And I’m taking some frustration out on her. I know that. But I still love her, and I know that she wouldn’t do this. It was just a mistake.”

Rosita tapped her pen against her notebook. “Are the two of you still involved?”

“It’s… complicated.”

“Well, I’m a pretty smart girl,” Rosita said with a smirk. “I think I can follow along.”

Nicole gave a scoffing laugh. “Yeah. Well. Let’s just say that the reasons for our divorce were things we should’ve been able to recover from, and we’ve grown up enough to start to realize it.”

“Fair enough. So you would say that you are both on good enough terms that neither of you would be willing to kidnap your son to resolve a custody dispute?”

“No. God, no. We’d never do that. We don’t worry about custody arrangements. Typically, he’s with me during the week and with Waverly on the weekends, but we have no problem trading off when necessary.”

“And you can’t think of anybody who would want to take your son? Anybody who would want to get back at you, or your ex-wife?”

“Not that I can think of.” Nicole shrugged. “I mean, I know I’m a cop, but I can’t really think of anybody who would hate me this much. Most of my job is traffic tickets.”

“Alright. If you come up with anybody who could have any sort of grudge against you, make a list for me, and I’ll-”

Jeremy burst into the kitchen and caught a glare from Rosita. “Sorry, sorry,” he stammered. “A courier just dropped off a letter. Looks like a ransom note. I didn’t know if you wanted to-”

He hadn’t even finished the sentence before Nicole was up and out of the room.

 

+++++

 

_if you want to see the boy again, bring two million dollars to pussy willows club on november twenty-second at precisely four fifteen p.m. no cops. cannot be brought by either of the boy’s parents. must be fully in cash and nonsequential bills. put money in a red duffel bag. we will find you._

_if you do not bring this money, it will not make a lick of difference if you notify the police. you will never see the boy again._

+++++

 

“How the hell are we supposed to just suddenly get two million dollars?” Nicole demanded, pacing again.

“Nic,” Waverly murmured. “I, uh... I have a little more than that in my bank account.”

Nicole stared at her. “Seriously?”

“I pay for this house as well as my apartment. Did you really think I didn’t have money?”

“I thought it was like _well off_ money, not _millionaire_ money.”

“I’m really good at my job,” Waverly muttered. She rubbed at her mouth and read the note again.

“Does that club mean anything to you?” Henry asked.

“No,” Nicole said with a shrug. “I’ve never heard of it.”

“I think I know who took Phoenix,” Waverly whispered.

Everyone in the room looked at her. “You recognize the place?” Rosita prompted.

“No. I recognize that phrase. The thing about ‘lick of difference’. A corporate rival of mine uses it all the time. Always pissed me off.”

“What’s his name?” Henry prompted immediately.

“Moody. Works for Black Badge Digital. Software sales, just like me.” Waverly’s eyes fluttered shut. “We’re competing against each other for a massive sale right now.”

“Massive enough for him to want to knock you out of the run by taking you son?”

Waverly met Henry’s gaze evenly. “Yes.”

Henry and Rosita exchanged a glance. “Then let’s figure out what to do about that.”


	14. bless the rains

Nicole was stunned by how quickly the FBI agents worked.

By eight the next morning, they had found a warehouse owned by a shell company owned by Douglas Moody. Waverly withdrew the money she needed, organizing it neatly in a bag like had been indicated in the ransom note.

“Wynonna should do it,” Nicole murmured, watching Waverly’s hands tremble.

Henry glanced at her. “The dropoff? No. It should be an agent.”

Nicole shook her head. “No. Wynonna has been out there since this started, with Gus, doing everything she can to look for Nix. She loves him. So much. If I’m going to trust anyone to do this, it’s going to be her. She would never forgive us if it was anyone else.”

Henry and Rosita exchanged a nod. “Alright,” Rosita said. “Fair enough. We’ll back her up.”

“We’re going to raid the warehouse at the exact same time that the money exchange is being made. Just to cover our bases. Nicole, you’re going to stay _outside_ , but you can come along. You’re a cop. You know the procedure.”

“What about me?” Waverly demanded.

Henry’s gaze was soft when he turned it to her. “You need to stay here. Just in case. If there’s a call, or another letter, or _anything_ , there needs to be someone here to respond. And since you’re the one Moody would be mad at, you’re the one whose voice he would know, you’re the one who needs to stay.”

Waverly clearly struggled with the decision for a moment before sighing and nodding. “Alright,” she whispered. “Alright.”

Nicole resisted the urge to reach across and hold her. “Let’s do this.”

 

+++++

 

Nicole leaned against her lieutenant’s SUV, anxiously drumming her fingers against her arms.

“I can’t do this,” she murmured. “I can’t just _wait_ like this.”

Nedley rested a hand on her shoulder. “He’ll be okay, Haught. He’s a tougher kid than most of my officers.”

Nicole couldn’t help her chuckle. “Thanks, Lieutenant.”

“Not a problem.”

The warehouse door opened, and Henry stepped out, walking over to them. Nicole’s breath caught in her throat, and, next to her, Nedley tightened his grip on her shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Nicole asked. “What’s wrong? Is he not in there? Oh, god, what are we-”

“Ms. Haught,” Henry interrupted calmly.

“Yes,” Nicole rasped.

“Would you like to see your son?”

Nicole groaned loudly and almost collapsed, setting her hands on her knees quickly to stop herself from falling over. “Yes,” she said. “Yes. Yes, I would.”

Henry muttered something into the radio on his belt, and another agent stepped out of the building, escorting Phoenix.

_“Mommy!”_

Nicole took off at a sprint, impolitely shoving past Henry on her way. She dropped onto her knees and picked Phoenix up into a crushing hug, burying her face in the boy’s shoulder.

“Oh, god,” Nicole whispered. “Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. Hi, baby. Are you okay?” She pulled back, clutching Phoenix’s face between her hands. “Are you hurt? Did they hurt you? Are you okay?”

He was clearly trying not to cry, trying to hold it together. “M’alright, Mommy.” His gaze flicked behind her. “Where’s Mama?”

“The police wanted her to stay back at home so she could take care of things. She wanted to come, baby, I promise.” Nicole continued to hold him as she stood. “Why don’t we go home and see her?”

 

+++++

 

The rest of the week was a blur Nicole could barely comprehend.

Waverly sobbing as she hugged Phoenix and rambled apologies until they became nonsense.

Wynonna and Gus bursting through the door and spending hours fussing over him.

Henry and Rosita telling them that Moody, his deputy manager Lucado, and a few hired thugs had all been arrested.

Jeremy dismantling the recording setup in the house.

Confessions, accusations, and, amidst it all, Nicole found that she didn’t have time to talk to Waverly.

They were drifting apart again, and she knew it.

The dread settled itself into the pit of her stomach, and it just sat there like a stone.

 

+++++

 

“How’s Phoenix?” Gus asked as she handed Waverly a mug of tea and sat down across the kitchen table from her.

“Fine,” Waverly said. “Oddly enough. He likes sleeping with me or Nic at night, which I can’t really blame him for. He needs to know for sure exactly when someone is going to pick him up from school. But he’s pulling through this bizarrely well.”

Gus smiled softly. “Kids can handle a lot.” She took a sip of her tea. “You handled a lot, too.”

Waverly laughed dryly. “Sure. Yeah. Y’know, you warned me not to get married so young. How many times have you thought ‘I told you so’ since then?”

“Not as often as you might think,” Gus replied carefully. She took in a long, slow breath. “Look, Waverly, I’m not going to pretend that you haven’t fucked up. And I know that I’ve been worried ever since you and Nicole started going at it again-”

“Christ, Gus…”

“ _Since you’ve started going at it again_ , I’ve been worried that you’d hurt her and Phoenix. But Waverly… This wasn’t your fault.”

“How couldn’t it be?” Waverly whispered. “I forgot him.”

“You misunderstood the situation when you were caught up in an extremely important job.”

“Work,” Waverly said bitterly. “Again.”

“But don’t you see, Waverly?”

“See what?”

Gus’s voice was quiet. “You were working from home so that you could take care of your boy. You’ve been splitting time more evenly with Nicole while she works extra shifts. You’ve done everything you can to be an active parent. You’re _trying_ , Waverly. You’re allowed to make a mistake everyone so often. This just happened to be one that landed on the wrong day.”

Waverly bowed her head, fidgeting with the tablecloth. “You know. When I was with Jenn? I was happy enough, sure. But it was a year of pretending. Acting like I would ever be as happy as I was when I was with Nicole. It fell apart because I couldn’t give her what she deserved. I couldn’t care about her the way I cared– _still_ care –about Nicole. She just. Wasn’t what I wanted.”

“And what do you want, Waverly Earp?”

After a moment, she raised her head and met Gus’s gaze evenly. “I want my family.”

 

+++++

 

The thunder pounded so loudly that Nicole almost didn’t hear the knock on her front door. She answered it without checking to see who it was, and her eyes widened when she found Waverly standing on the front porch, soaked to the bone.

“Waves? What are you-”

“Phoenix is at Wynonna’s tonight, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Nicole blinked at her. “Why don’t you come inside? It’s pouring out there.”

“I will.” Waverly paused, ignoring the water dripping down her face. “I just need to get this out first.”

“… Okay…”

“I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’m pretty sure since the moment I met you, before I even understood what it meant, I was gone for you. And I know I’m flawed and I know I’m a fuckup sometimes and I know that I ruined us once before. I know that I’m stubborn and my organization gets obsessive and I zone out when I work. But if you’ll have me, Nicole Haught, I’ll be yours forever. Because I want you. I _need_ you.”

She surged forward, her lips landing on Nicole’s and her arms wrapping around Nicole’s neck. Nicole stumbled backwards, leading her into the house. She kicked the door shut behind them, and Nicole pinned Waverly up against it, her warm hands exploring Waverly’s rain-soaked skin.

When she pulled away, Waverly couldn’t help but whine softly.

“We should get you out of those clothes before you get pneumonia,” Nicole murmured against Waverly’s lips.

“Probably for the best.”

Nicole smirked. “What, no joke about me getting you naked?”

“I can’t really think right now,” Waverly admitted.

“Good.” Nicole rested their foreheads together, smiling softly. “You don’t need to. Let me take care of that for tonight.”

She picked Waverly up, hooking her legs around her hips and laughing as Waverly yelped. As she carried Waverly down the hallway towards the bedroom, she whispered, “I love you, too, Waverly Earp. And I need you more than I’ve ever needed anything in my life.”


	15. say what you wanna say

“Phoenix, your Mama and I need to talk to you about something,” Nicole said softly, sitting across from him in the diner booth.

He poked at his waffle. “Am I gonna have to tessify?”

“What?”

“In court.”

Nicole reached over and ran her fingers through his hair. “No, pal. You won’t have to testify. They made deals, and everybody involved plead guilty. No trials required.”

“Good,” he whispered.

Waverly glanced at Nicole and said, “The thing we have to tell you is, uhm…”

“Your Mama and I are seeing each other again,” Nicole finished, her voice gentle. “We’re going to try to make it work.”

Phoenix stared at them for a long moment. Then he got up from his chair and bolted out of the diner.

_“Nix!”_ Waverly yelled.

“It’s alright,” Nicole said, holding up a hand. “I’ve got him.” She followed the boy outside, finding him sitting on a bench and staring at the ground.

Nicole crouched down in front of him, trying not to let anger creep into her voice. “Never do that again,” she whispered. “Do you understand me? _Never. Do that. Again._ ”

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“What’s the matter, buddy?” Nicole asked, shifting up so that she could sit on the bench next to him. “I-I… I kind of… thought you’d be, I dunno, happy, I guess.”

“I don’t want Mama to get scared away again,” he said, so quietly she barely heard him.

Nicole stroked the back of his neck. “What?”

“I’ve been splittin’ time with you and Mama. Seein’ her more. What if you guys get mad at each other again?”

“Oh, baby.” Nicole kissed the top of his head softly. “I understand why you’re scared. It’s okay. But I promise you, Nix. We’re going to do our best. Even if somehow it doesn’t work out, you will _always_ have _both_ of us. This isn’t like last time, son. I swear it isn’t.”

He looked up at her, tears in his eyes. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

Phoenix reached up, hugging her tightly around the neck. “I upset Mama, didn’t I?”

“I don’t think so, buddy. But maybe we should go in and finish eating breakfast with her?”

He nodded and sniffed, rubbing at his nose. “Yeah,” he said, grinning. “Let’s go.”

 

+++++

 

Waverly stood in the doorway of Phoenix’s room, watching him sleep. Nicole came up behind her and pressed a kiss to the back of her shoulder.

“Is everything okay, baby?”

“He’s so _calm_. I’m afraid to let him out of my sight, but he’s acting like nothing even happened.” Waverly leaned back against Nicole, sighing as the taller woman wrapped her arms around her waist. “I wish I knew how to pull that off.”

Nicole gave a low chuckle and nipped at Waverly’s earlobe. “I can help you relax.”

“Stop,” Waverly giggled. “Not tonight.”

“Alright.” Nicole rested her forehead against the back of Waverly’s neck. “What _do_ you want to do tonight?”

“It’s Friday, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Pillow fort.”

“… What?”

Waverly, laughing, pulled away from Nicole and jumped onto Phoenix’s bed. The boy woke with a startled yelp, then broke into laughter as his mother started tickling him.

“Mama, stop!”

“Only if you agree to be on my work crew,” Waverly replied, grinning down at him.

“Work crew for what?”

“We’re gonna built a pillow fort in the living room and sleep in it.”

His eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Really.”

Phoenix bounded out of bed and barreled into Nicole, tackling her around the waist. “C’mon, Mommy, we’ve got work t’do!”

“Somehow, whenever your Mama has ideas, I always end up doing manual labor,” Nicole said dryly. She shot Waverly a playful smile, then picked up their son and carried him off towards the living room.

Waverly, laughing, hurried after them.

 

+++++

 

Nicole woke up with a stiff pain in her back.

She crawled and maneuvered her way out of the fort of pillows and blankets, leaving Waverly and Phoenix curled up together inside. As she went into the kitchen to find Advil, the phone rang.

“I’m not old enough for this bad of a crick in my back,” she muttered as she answered it.

_“What?”_

Nicole yawned. “Sorry, Hayls, I just got up.”

Her sister’s voice was cold. _“Busy night, then?”_

“Not really. We stayed in.”

_“Who encompasses that ‘we’, Nicole?”_

Nicole paused, frowning. “Who told you?”

_“Told me what?”_

“Don’t give me bullshit, Hayley, I know you’re talking about Waverly.”

_“Mom told me you were fucking her again.”_

Nicole pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. “I doubt our mother put it that way, but yes, I am dating her again. We’re trying to start over.”

Hayley sounded far more bitter and nasty than her normal personality would allow. _“What kind of idiot are you?”_

“Excuse me?”

_“You’re just going to let her walk back into your life?”_

“It’s not the same as last time, Hayls. She’s better now. She’s changed.”

_“I doubt that.”_

“Look,” Nicole growled, frustrated. “Waverly loves me.”

_“Yeah. You said that last time, too.”_

Nicole’s heart dropped into her socks. “What do you want me to say, Hayley?”

_“I want a damn good reason why you’re allowing Waverly Earp to hurt you again. To hurt_ Phoenix _again.”_

Anger bubbled up to the surface, drowning the hurt. “Listen to me,” Nicole growled. “I am really _fucking tired_ of people saying that to me, Hayley. My son is my first priority. He’s Waverly’s first priority, too. We would not be doing this if it was going to hurt him. If we were going to _allow it_ to hurt him. We love each other. We love our son. You don’t have to like her, Hayley. You don’t have to forgive her. But you do have to respect the fact that she is _the woman I love_ and _the mother of my child_ , and I am not going to change the way I feel just to make you feel better.”

_“Nicole-”_

Whatever words were going to be said were ignored as Nicole slammed the phone back down into its holder. She gripped the edge of the counter, breathing heavily, fury causing her to tremble.

“Nic?”

She looked up, seeing Waverly standing in the doorway.

“Is everything okay? Who was on the phone?”

Nicole forced a smile. “Nobody, baby.” She walked over, giving Waverly a kiss that made her knees weak. “Everything is just fine.”


	16. a brand new attitude

“Mama,” Phoenix said softly, walking next to Waverly down the street, both of them bundled up in jackets and scarves, “y’know how I said I wanted to do Little League?”

“Yeah, buddy. What about it?”

“… Can I do karate instead?”

Waverly fidgeted with the collar of his coat. “Of course you can, Nix.” She felt an twist of uneasiness as she asked, “Any particular reason why?”

“I wanna be able to punch anybody who tries to mess with me again,” he murmured.

“Phoenix,” she whispered. She pulled him off to the side and crouched down, fixing his scarf absentmindedly. “That’s not really how that works. And besides, we should be able to protect you. We’re your parents.”

“But…” He shrugged and looked down at his feet. “I wanna be able to protect you, too. And I… I don’t want you and Mommy to be worried about me all the time. Please, Mama? I wanna go.”

Waverly kissed his forehead. “If you’re really sure, buddy, we’ll talk about it with your Mom. Okay?”

Phoenix’s eyes lit up. “Okay, Mama.”

 

+++++

 

“Is this a good idea?” Waverly asked anxiously, pacing around the kitchen. “Having Christmas dinner here?”

“Yes, baby.” Nicole kissed Waverly for a long moment, then went back to stirring the pasta. “You need to relax.”

“Oh, god, don’t tell me that, it just makes me panic more, what if Gus and Wynonna are still mad at me, what if Phoenix doesn’t like his presents, what if I get a work call in the middle of dinner, what if-”

Nicole dropped her wooden spoon onto the counter and walked over, kissing Waverly more firmly, until she felt Waverly melt in her grip.

“Are you done?” she murmured.

“No,” Waverly said rebelliously. “Get away from me before I bite you.”

Nicole smirked and leaned down, skimming her teeth lightly along Waverly’s neck. “Sounds fun,” she mumbled.

Waverly gripped the back of her neck to hold her in place. “Stop it,” she whispered.

“Yeah, you really seem like you want me to-”

Waverly yanked Nicole up and kissed her roughly on the mouth. They got a bit too into it, almost losing their sense completely before an angry noise from the stovetop interrupted.

“Shit,” Nicole grumbled, going over to stir the pasta again before the water overflowed.

“You really think it’ll be alright?”

“Yeah, Wave, I do.” Nicole leaned against the cabinets. “Listen… before everybody gets here, I wanted to give you your present.”

“Mhm. I’m aware. You were just trying to give me your _present_ on top of the kitchen counter.”

Nicole sighed. “Waverly.”

“I’m _joking_. Go ahead.”

Nicole opened the spice drawer and handed Waverly a small black box.

“… Nic…”

“Don’t say anything until you’ve opened it.”

Waverly snapped it open, revealing a small silver key. She blinked, then turned her gaze up to Nicole. “What…?”

“The only way that we will know for sure whether or not we’re really going to work again is if we take it further. I love you, Waverly. I want you move in with us.”

Waverly swallowed and carefully picked the key up. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah. I’m sure. I already talked to Phoenix about it.”

“Then yes.” Waverly grinned and nodded. “Yes, Nicole Haught. I’ll move in with you.”

Nicole mirrored her grin. “Great.”

“But… question. You just had this sitting in a drawer?”

Nicole shrugged and turned back to the stove. “It was in the spices used during cooking. You sure as hell were never going to find it.”

She let out a laugh as the small box smacked her in the center of her back.

 

+++++

 

When Wynonna showed up with Phoenix, his hair was spiked up with hair gel.

“Look, Mom! Look, Mama! Aunt ‘Nonna did my hair!” He ran around the kitchen excitedly, bouncing up and down. “It’s awesome!”

Nicole shook her head slowly. “Yeah, buddy, it looks great.” She met Wynonna’s gaze and rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be jealous, Haught, or I’ll do your hair, too,” Wynonna snarked. “Where’s Gus?”

“She’s going to be late,” Waverly replied. “The cake was taking a while.”

“Wouldn’t be a problem if your girlfriend could bake.”

“Excuse me, I made _all of the food_. There is pretty amazing chicken tetrazzini in here. I’m so sorry that I didn’t have time to make dessert, too.”

Wynonna smacked her on the back, smirking. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You did good.” She winked at Waverly. “You both did.”

 

+++++

 

After dinner, Nicole and Phoenix sat down on the living room floor to play with the dinosaur skeleton building kit Waverly had gotten him while Waverly cleaned up the kitchen. Gus went in to help, picking up a towel.

“You know. I’ve been wanting a word with you for a while,” she said gruffly.

Waverly swallowed, almost dropping the dish she was rinsing off. “Oh?”

“Mhm.” Gus leaned against the counter. “I wanted to say that I’m proud of you.” She gave Waverly a brisk kiss on the side of her head. “You’ve grown so much, kiddo. You’re trying so hard. And I am so, _so_ proud of you.”

Waverly, tears in her eyes, set the dish in the sink and surged forward, wrapping Gus in a tight hug. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“No, kid,” Gus murmured. “Thank _you_.”

 

+++++

 

“Hey,” Waverly said, kissing Nicole softly on the lips. “What are you doing?”

“Just watching,” Nicole said, nodding at Phoenix as he played a board game against Wynonna and Gus.

“Do you want to join?”

Nicole shook her head. “No, baby. I have something I need to take care of first.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” Nicole kissed her, long and slow. “Everything’s perfect.”

 

+++++

 

She stepped outside, pulling her jacket tighter around her as she put her phone against her ear.

_“Hello?”_

“Merry Christmas,” Nicole greeted quietly.

 _“… Merry Christmas, Nic,”_ Hayley replied, hesitation in her voice.

“Can we talk for a minute?”

_“Yeah. Yeah, Nic, sure.”_

“I don’t want to fight with you.” Nicole sat down on the front steps, letting out a soft sigh. “I don’t want animosity between us. Phoenix loves getting to see you guys.”

_“I know that. I just-”_

“Wait. Let me talk.”

_“… Okay.”_

“Waverly and I got married way too young. We were stupid. We didn’t know how to handle our responsibilities yet, and then we made it all worse by throwing in marriage and a house and a child. We were young, and we were human, Hayls. I know you want to protect me. Just like I would do anything to protect you, too. But I believe in her. You haven’t seen this change in her, Hayley. She has been trying so hard. She’s made changes at work, and she’s made it clear that Phoenix is her priority. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from her. And she’s done so much more than just that. She loves me. We’re _in love_. She’s not going to hurt me, Hayley. I _promise_. It’s not the same as it was.”

For a long moment, her sister was quiet.

_“Do you trust that she’s not going to get promoted again and get absorbed in her work and lose interest in her family again?”_

The word choice rubbed Nicole the wrong way, but she chose not to argue it. “Yes. We aren’t those stupid kids anymore, Hayls. We’re grown. And we know what we want for our future. We want each other.”

Hayley gave a soft sigh. _“Alright, Nicole. I trust you. It might take me some time to like her again. But I’ll do my best, and I won’t be harsh towards her.”_

“That’s all I can ask for,” Nicole said. “Thank you.”

_“You think you’ll get married again?”_

Nicole looked up at the sky as soft flakes of snow began to drop. She gave a small smile. “Yeah, Hayley. I think we will.”


	17. fill this empty heart up

**SIX MONTHS LATER**

 

“Are we gonna make the bus, Mama?”

Waverly laughed, leaning down to shake Phoenix gently by his shoulders as they walked down the deck past the waterwheel at Port Orleans Riverside. “Our reservations aren’t until nine, buddy. It’s six in the morning.”

“Oh.” He squinted at her. “Why are we up, then?”

Nicole, downing coffee out of her mug, yawned and mumbled, “Because _somebody_ started bouncing around at five a.m.”

“Wow, Mama, why would you do that?” Phoenix deadpanned. His eyes suddenly lit up. “Bouncing!” He started hopping up and down, pulling on Waverly’s hand. “Are we gonna see Tigger?”

Waverly laughed softly. “Yeah, Nix. I think they have Tigger at Chef Mickey’s during breakfast.”

“Yes!” He jogged ahead, jumping from one piece of wood to the next. “I should’a brought my karate stuff. That would’a been a cooler picture.”

“Buddy, I don’t think getting syrup all over your karate uniform would be a great idea,” Nicole said.

Phoenix and Waverly both shot her scarily identical looks. “It’s called a _gi_ , Mommy.”

“Let me have more of this coffee before you yell at me.” Nicole took another long sip, then took in a deep breath of the warm Florida air. “Alright. Go ahead.”

Her son giggled. “Nah. Not worth it.”

“You really have been hanging out with your Aunt ‘Nonna too much,” Nicole said dryly, fluffing up Phoenix’s hair.

“When are we gonna leave?”

Nicole glanced at her watch. “Well, we’re early, but we can always head over there. Take a look around at stuff. Always better to be in the building than loitering around here and end up running late.”

“Actually, I have one thing I want to do before we go,” Waverly said, stopping at the very end of the deck.

“What’s that?”

She took in a long, slow breath, and then she turned around and got down on one knee.

Nicole choked on her coffee. “Waverly…”

Waverly shot her a cheeky grin before turning her gaze to Phoenix. The boy was staring at her, eyes wide. “Phoenix Earp-Haught. I know that I haven’t always been there for you. But I swear on my life that I’m going to spend the rest of my days making it up to you. I want nothing more than to be a mother you deserve. You’re a brilliant boy. The best son anyone could ever ask for. I love you with all my heart, and, if you’ll let me, I’d like to make everything official again. I’d like to ask your mom to marry me.”

Phoenix burst into tears and surged forward, wrapping his arms tight around her neck as he hugged her fiercely.

Waverly looked up at Nicole, who was staring down at them in shock, her coffee cup dropped onto the deck. “Well, baby. I already gave my whole heart to the boy, but I guess you can have the rest of me,” she joked. “I know we’ve done this before and it didn’t work. But I have faith that we can make it. I have faith in _us_. And I-”

She didn’t have time to finish before Nicole pulled her up onto her feet, hugging her and crushing Phoenix between them.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, Waverly.”

“Mom, I can’t breathe,” Phoenix complained, his voice muffled.

“Sorry, buddy,” Nicole said weakly. “Sorry.” She let go, allowing Waverly to set him back down on the deck.

Waverly grinned at her. “Can I at least get the ring out before you say yes? Geez, you wonder why your son’s so impatient.”

She snapped open the small black box, revealing a thick black necklace with a piece of amber on it. “Wait, no, this is Phoenix’s.” Waverly held it down to him. “This is for you, buddy.”

He took it with a quick “thank you” and started bouncing again, tugging on Nicole’s shirt to get her to put it on him. As Nicole knelt down to help him, Waverly took out another box and opened it. She held out the ring, a simple silver band with three insets: a topaz, an aquamarine, and a sapphire.

Nicole reached her hand out, allowing Waverly to slide the band onto her ring finger. She examined it, her eyes soft. “The three of us,” she whispered.

“It seemed appropriate.”

Nicole stood, cupping Waverly’s face in her hands and kissing her. “It is.” She grinned, skimming her thumbs along Waverly’s cheeks. “Because we’re a family.”

She let out a loud laugh, grabbing Phoenix by the waist and hoisting him up onto her shoulders. She kissed Waverly again, then took off at a jog in the direction of their bus.

Waverly watched them go, a smile playing across her lips. Then she picked up Nicole’s coffee cup and ran after her fiancée and her son.


End file.
